By the time we reach our thirties, many of us fall into one of three wintery tribes: those nimble show-offs who have jetted off to Verbier to ski every year since they were three; those who have flailed down a mountain once and those who have never been skiing before.
Until recently, I sat defiantly in the middle category. I went on a skiing holiday with a group of friends when I was 19, gouged my forehead open in a ski-lift incident and spent most of the week ‘on the lash’ at the après-ski (yes that’s how we talked back then, it was the noughties).
Since then, I’ve worried skiing is the kind of sport you either pick up in your youth or you can forget about trying to learn. But I don’t want to spend January to March looking at envy-inducing pictures of ‘blue sky and powder’ on Instagram again this year. So, over a decade after I last hit the slopes - and now a year into my thirties and a lot less agile - I decide to give it another try and head to La Plagne in France.
They say you should do something every day that scares you, but I’m not sure that includes scaring everyone around you, too, which is what happened when I hurtled towards a family of four on my first day on the piste. To avoid unnecessary pain and complete humiliation, here are my top tips of what to do and what to avoid if you’re a ski novice in your thirties. Stick to these and you’ll be a ski-wanker quicker than you can say ‘Maaate, that jump is gnarly.’
Get lessons
‘Anna tuuuuuurrn’ screams my ski instructor, Sylvia, as I career off the gentlest of slopes. Sylvia is a patient, brave and forgiving soul and should be credited for the fact that all my limbs are still intact at the end of the week. Before Sylvia, the only time my skis are parallel are when I stick them into the snow outside a restaurant before going in for lunch. I can’t recommend getting lessons enough. I start each day with a full morning session and can’t believe the progress I make from day to day. Lessons give me the confidence to join my boyfriend on more adventurous slopes in the afternoon and correct my poor... no, terrible technique. A common reason people give for not bothering with them is the price: skiing is an expensive holiday as it is and the thought of keeping the costs down seems tempting. But if you’ve already splashed out on the week away, you want to make sure you enjoy it, reduce your risk of injury and can keep up with your friends (unless you’re all beginners, in which case… good luck).
Don't go out of your depth
It’s day two and I’m wobbling down a red slope (steep runs for advanced intermediates) when a class of four-year-old French kids breezily weave around me one by one. They barely come up to my hip, which makes the fiasco all the more humiliating. I panic, flap and snowplough to a standstill, then sit down in protest. At the bottom of the mountain my boyfriend is in hysterics, capturing the circus on his phone. Who did I think I was hitting a red slope this early on? Important lesson number two: don’t try to slalom before you can walk. Stay where you’re comfortable until you’re ready, otherwise you won’t find it enjoyable. There’s something to be said for throwing yourself in at the deep end if you’re brave, confident and sporty. But an adult has further to fall than a child, so you’ll only ruin the whole experience for yourself if you get injured or freak yourself out early on.
Stay in a catered chalet
I know you’re not supposed to say this, but my favourite part of the day is coming back to our cosy chalet and rushing to the kitchen to see what cake has been baked for us. We stay in one of ski company Ski Beat’s fully catered chalets, where homemade afternoon cakes and tea are ready waiting for us when we get in. Cooked breakfasts and a three-course evening meal with wine are also included, which you sit down to with the rest of your chalet (we shared ours with 10 others). It’s a sociable, different way of holidaying and, because you’ve all been doing the same activity, it means you’re interested in everyone else’s day. We make good friends in outs, but if you can’t be bothered mixing with people you don’t know you can book out smaller chalets or fill one with your group of friends.
The real reason to go fully catered is, of course, the food though. Not only do you need good meals to fuel you through the week, it’s so exciting to know professional chefs are cooking for you each night. No one wants to traipse to the supermarket in your heavy ski boots and have to think about what to make every day. It’s meant to be a holiday, remember.
Don’t overdo it
Some crazy people I know went to the gym every day while they were skiing just because it came free with the accommodation they had booked. Others went to an all-night rave and then couldn’t get up for the best weather/ski conditions of the week the following day. Don’t try to fit too much in while you’re skiing. If, like me, you find the act of carrying your skies and boots to the ski-lifts an Olympic sport in itself, then don’t tire yourself out on extra energy-consuming activities you can do at home. You’re only here for a week and skiing needs every crumb of vigour you’ve got.
Don’t have a party on the final night
Or do, because ours is totally worth it. But remember, there’s a long and winding road ahead of you – a three-hour coach trip back down a mountain to be precise. Drink lots of water, try to sleep and spare a thought for the people sitting near you while you throw up in your wash-bag.
FEBRUARY 2019 La Plagne
A week’s fully hosted ski holiday with Ski Beat to the vast La Plagne ski area, part of the 425km of pistes that make up the Paradiski region, costs from £599pp. The price includes return Gatwick flights (Manchester + £20), transfers, 7 nights accommodation in a homely, hosted chalet, with cooked breakfast, homemade afternoon cakes and tea, 3 course evening meals with wine (6 nights) and the services of a friendly chalet host. A week’s stay at the Chalet Bartavelle costs from £639pp. Contact Ski Beat on 01273 855100, www.skibeat.co.uk.
Ski Beat has been organising high quality fully catered ski chalet holidays to the French Alps for over 30 years. This coming winter Ski Beat’s charismatic chalet hosts will welcome guests in over fifty chalets, in nine snow sure resorts.
READ MORE: Grazia’s Guide To Skiing: How To Up Your Style On The Slopes