Uh oh, is that a friend sobbing down the phone after her latest breakup we’re overhearing there? Whether it’s the end of winter, or something to do with Tinder (it’s probably something to do with Tinder), we seem to be dealing with a heartbroken friend a week at the mo. The problem is, what to do to distract someone who’s liable to start sobbing hysterically at the mere mention of the couple’s railcard?
We’ve had a little think about break-up friendly activities over here and agreed that staying indoors is key; no-one likes crying in public, as is avoiding alcohol, (an unpopular choice we realise, but no good can come from getting all liquored up in an emotional state). Instead, general consensus was that curling up with a film is the best distraction for your pal PLUS it has the added bonus of you not being able to speak for an hour an a half thus preventing you from coming out with the overused clichés you bandy about at times like this. Here’s the most break-up friendly films on Netflix.
The Back Up Plan
Good for: Killing Hollywood romance dead.
We’ve talked about this film before. It’s the worst. The absolute worst. Starring J-Lo as an artificially-inseminated single gal climbing the career ladder, it’s a total lol-fest that means your pal’ll never take a Hollywood romance seriously again.
Drop Dead Gorgeous
Good for: Working through some anger.
Beauty Queens murdering each other in a desperate bid to reach the top of their game? Perfect. This late-90s chick flick-with-an-edge stars Kirsten Dunst and a young Amy Adams.
Winter’s Bone
Good for: Realising there’s always people worse off that you.
J-Law’s first big role is actually still our fave she's ever done. Living amongst meth addicts in the Ozark mountains, a teenage girl struggles to keep her family together while the threat of losing her house looms over them. Undeniably bleak, but a good way of nudging perspective your friend's way if they’ve turned a bit Marnie from Girls.
The Craft
Good for: Fierce fashion, sisterhood.
When four teenage girls try their hand at magic, men don’t stand a chance. Disrespectful date? A pox on his house. Abusive stepfather? Eye of newt and he’s a goner. Plus, it’s basically 101 minutes of street style ideas for someone ready to take on a drastic (but babetastic) new look.
Olympus Has Fallen
Good for: Mindless explosions and shirtless Gerard Butler.
If thinking about anything deep’s proving to be a real struggle for your pal, this hugely enjoyable dumb action film is ace. Think a bunch of angry Koreans invading the White House and you get the idea.
The Cabin In The Woods
Good for: Being such a weird horror film you’ll forget about everything else.
This flick starring Chris Hemsworth is on the list if only due to the fact that despite starting out as a conventional ‘teenagers alone in the woods with a scary monster’ sitautaion it soon takes the most bizarre turn ever. Will leave you thinking (not about boys) for days.
Teeth
Good for: Hating on men, in a very specific manner.
Dawn O’ Keefe’s body doesn’t allow men to disrespect her. She’s got teeth in her vagina that are quite happy to gnaw on any offending penis. An essential viewing for anyone feeling less than generous to male genitalia ATM.
The Faculty
Good for: Watching annoying people get murdered, staring at 90’s Josh Hartnett
God 90’s high-school flicks were SO GREAT. When the teachers at Herrington High School start acting a bit weird, like, by trying to kill people, (its down to the alien slugs in their ears you see) it's time for the students to fight back.
Office Space
Good for: Laughing at boring people, being cycnical
When Ron Livingston (known to us as Berger in SATC) decides to start stealing money from work, he and his friends (including Jennifer Aniston) adopt a spectacular IDGAF attitude to their boring dead-end jobs. It’s a witty and sarcastic victory for the little guy comedy, full of evil awful office stereotypes you’ll totally reconginse.
Louis Theroux: Weird Weekends: Thai Brides
Good For: Making any sexual desire you once possessed shrivel back up inside you and die.
One sentence from the smarmy Ronnie Conrad about the poor barely-legal Thai girls he frequents and any sexual frustration your pal’s struggling with since losing sex-on-tap will die instantly.
Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.