Water, water, everywhere, but it’s just too basic to drink. How about a glass of refreshingly lukewarm Aloe Vera water instead? Or a bottle of Maple Leaf juice perhaps? Sound tempting? No?
Following the immense success of Vita Coco’s coconut water with celebrity endorsements from the likes of Rihanna, Gwyneth and Madonna over its supposed nutritional benefits, plant waters are apparently now a thing. But are any of them ever going to replace good old H2O in our affections?
The Debrief decided to put it to the test to see if any of these so-called ‘wonder waters’ could kick H2o’s butt and live up to their high expectations.
A quick trip to healthy-living HQ aka Wholefoods, and I’m back in the office with a bag full of liquid nutrition and a dent in my bank account. Healthy living doesn’t come cheap, apparently.
Biogroupe Aloe Vera Water £1.89
The captivating smell of fresh laundry with a few diced aloe vera leaves thrown in for added pleasure. If you ever wanted to know what your clean knickers taste like after taking them straight out of the wash then this is the drink for you!
Researches have suggested that too much aloe vera water can lead to cramps and diarrhoea, that thing I said about clean undies? Forget it.
The bottle clearly states ‘Drink for Life’ but at 187 calories per bottle – I think this screams more H2 No! rather than H2 Go!
Tapped Birch Water £2.49
Straight from the tree and into my mouth (apparently), although I’m pretty sure the journey over from Finland might have something else to say about it.
I’ll admit that’s a pretty cute bottle they’ve got going on there, but let’s be honest: no one wants to drink a tree. Trees are for gardens and paper not hydration purposes.
That said, doctors do recommend the Scandi-juice as a good intake of vitamin C and iron. Pretty sure a bag of oranges won’t cost as much, though.
Chi Organic 100% Raw Coconut Water £4.99
Do not deceive yourself into thinking a coconut should taste exactly like it does in a Bounty. NEWS FLASH: It really doesn’t. With all the consistency of warm water that, if possible, has gone well past its sell-by-date.
At almost £5 a pop, unless you were stranded on an island in a past life and grew accustomed to the taste of raw coconut, then please shy away from this particular drink. No pun intended.
Drink Maple. Pure Maple Water £1.99
Now that’s more like it. Blame it on my sweet tooth but any form of sugar-laden water is a firm favourite with me! Akin to that of its syrupy counterpart, this could do to curb my sugary cravings straight after eating something savoury. Question is: do I really need to spend two quid on a bottle full of sugar?
My verdict? Save your pennies for the water bill. A glass full of regular tap water never hurt anyone. I think?
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.