On Friday night, the nation was divided. Two camps, so furiously at loggerheads that any resolution seemed – and still seems – impossible. Split almost exactly down the middle (say, 48% vs 52%), the UK erupted into furious debate. Brexit on the one hand; on the other, Love Islander Rebecca Gormley’s reaction to a suitor’s offering avocado on toast.
Cute Scottish Wallace made Rebecca breakfast. Sweet and thoughtful? No. Judging by Rebecca’s reaction, the proffering of a millennial staple dish (it’s all we eat) was an affront to all she holds holy. ‘Awww Wallace I'm not a fan of avocado on toast,’ is what she said, but it’s not what she should have said. Acceptable options would have included: ‘Thanks so much!’; ‘Mmm, delicious,’ or even ‘Ooh, my favourite!’ through gritted teeth.
That being said, we all know that food can engender pretty strong feelings. Staunch preferences – and visceral dislikes – are some of the first opinions we’re capable of voicing, and children don’t get much input to the world of Preachy Adults beyond accepting or rejecting the sustenance they plonk down in front of you a few times a day.
Nonetheless, the ‘I don’t LIKE IT’ phase tends to trail off. People stop putting up with it after age, say, eight, and children grow into adults who understand that the world doesn’t revolve around their particular likes and dislikes. Tastes broaden, and we discover that things that look strange can taste great. Yada yada. I’m outlining the normal progression, only to highlight that it seems to have been disrupted in our Rebecca.
What did avocado ever do to her? I would suggest food poisoning, but I’m not sure that’s something you can really get from mashed fruit. Does it bring back a memory – maybe of tense meals with a distant relative, who exclusively served guacamole on avocado with a side of avocado? The ingredient forever wrapped up with associations of angry aunts and awkward asides? Or, is she upset about the over-farming and displacement of small holders in South America? Morally opposed to the unsustainable demands of capitalism on the environment and local communities? Or just a bit icked out by something green?
Whatever the root of Rebecca’s staunchly anti-avo stance, it’s something she felt strongly enough about to call the whole Wallace thing off. Remarking to camera that ‘I love my food and if you can’t get the food right it’s not going to work’, she and Wallace held a summit later in the day where they mutually agreed that their budding relationship had breathed its last. The moral of that story remains to be seen, but for now we can probably all conclude that meals made for Rebecca need to be checked and double-checked in advance. The nation’s harmony depends on it.
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