Rio 2016 is here. It's bloody here! Sure it's here amidst a whiff of corruption and fast unravelling living conditions for the athletes. But it's here!
The Olympics is great. It gives you a chance to get well into sports you've never heard of (shout out to Canoe Slalom!), is an excuse to watch stuff on your computer whilst you're meant to be doing work (it's patriotic) and pretend you know a lot more about sports and different countries' cultures than you actually do.
Obviously you need to mark this monumentous, once-every-four-years event by having a party. It's only right. Because that's what British people do. Royal baby? Party. Wimbledon final? Party. 3-and-a-half-month-anniversary since you last had a bikini wax? Party.
So here, my friends, is your guide to having a billboard Olympic Party. Hopefully by Tokyo 2020, provided the world hasn't imploded under Supreme Leader Trump, party planning will be an Olympic Sport and you'll be able to win your first REAL gold medal.
Olympic Party Food
Olympic Pizza
One for the erm, less practised chefs of you out there. Literally just buy yourself a pizza base, passata, cheese and pepperoni. Spread the passata liberally over the pizza base, sprinkle with cheese and then arrange the pepperoni in the shape of the Olympic Rings. If you're really fancy, get peppers, olives and sweetcorn involved to so you've got the different colours. Bake for as long as the pizza base packet says. Then throw a shitfit when someone cuts into it and ruins your handiwork. More inspo here.
Boozy Mint Caipirinha Sorbet
Yeah man. Desserts with booze. Always a great shout. This from Girl Cooks World is dead easy too. Even if you struggled with the Olympic Rings pizza.
Olympic Party Drinks
Brazillian Lemonade
What's Brazillian about this? Who knows. It's not even got lemons in it. Whatever, Brazillians seem to like it and who are we to argue with them? Basically, it's water, lime, sugar and condensed milk. Add rum to make it better. Obviously. Full recipe here.
Raspberry Caipririnha
Everyone and their mum are going to be making caiprinhas but TBH, I'm not mad on them. Try this version with raspberry to stand out from the rest and actually make something drinkable. Full recipe here.
Olympics Party Fancy Dress
Friends. This is not an excuse to culturally appropriate. Put down that headress and instead focus on the comedy vibes. This kid, who went to his Olympics party as a swimmer, did good. As did this kid, who also, like us, clearly loves the canoeing (you'll go far kid). If you totally can't be arsed, get some green paper, a paper plate, and make this laurel wreath.
Olympics Party Games
Well you've got you have your own Olympics really haven't you? Divide into teams (boys v girls, Pokemon Go users versus cool people, Zoella lovers versus Zoella haters. Whatever). Next, choose one person to compete in each of the following rounds....
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Who can eat a bag of Doritos the quickest?
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Who can write down, from memory, the names of all the members from 911, Eternal, All Saints, Sugababes (all members over the years), A1, S Club 7, S Club Juniors and Atomic Kitten with the most accuracy?
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Who can leave the house and return with a can of beer the quickest?
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Who can make a member of the other team laugh the quickest? No rules to this one.
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Who can make the most convincing superhero costume from stuff just found in the house.
The winning team wins um, one of your Olympic pizzas.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.