I’m yet to be involved in any sort of relationship with a boyfriend, person I’m ‘seeing’, fuck boy or otherwise that involved the other person spontaneously arriving at my door with a bouquet of flowers for reason other than it being a nice thing to do. Hell, I’m yet to have been given flowers when I’ve quite straightforwardly asked for them.
Instead, I’ve had a rose thrown at me (not in the standing ovation, roses thrown at my feet while I’m standing on stage kind of way, but the being in bed on Valentine’s day and having the flower tossed in my general direction way). I’ve had flowers delivered as an apology for a particularly big screw up. One time I bought my own rose from the man who sells them outside clubs after a night out just to make a typically pas-ag point to the guy I was with. But alas, I have not experienced that silky-smooth, rom-com worthy Prince Charming move of being handed a bunch of beautiful flowers just because I exist.
And I’m not sure if this guy’s attempt to bring his girlfriend a flower is confirmation or contradiction to my suspicion that maybe the hopelessly romantic among us should just give up on ever being presented with a bouquet in a remotely amorous way by anyone other than our friends, mothers or selves right now.
Jamarcus is Jailyn’s boyfriend. The two of them have been dating for almost a year now and a couple of days ago, Jamarcus thought he’d make that move and surprise Jailyn with a flower. But it didn’t quite go to plan.
‘My boyfriend brought me this thinking it was a flower but it’s lettuce’, Jailyn tweeted. You can’t help but laugh. Both at the ridiculousness of Jamarcus’s mistake and the fact that it doesn’t look all that much like a lettuce either.
‘I was sleeping and he woke me up by knocking on my window’, Jailyn told Mashable. ‘I went to go open the door and he had the lettuce in his hand with a big smile.
‘I just started laughing so much. After, I hugged and kissed him. He didn't [know] what it was until I told him it was lettuce. My mom was right by the door and she was laughing, too, but she also thought it was cute.’
It is cute. Very cute. But also, a hilarious metaphor for where society seems to be at with romantic gestures right now. ‘He got it from his job at a warehouse,’ Jailyn explained. ‘He didn't know any better but to think it was a flower, but that's what made it really funny’.
The phrase 'it's the thought that counts' really does ring true here, and I guess at the very least whether it's lettuce or decorative kale, Jailyn will be one step closer to the gazillion a day we're meant to be eating. But a note to any future suitors: I seem to be running out of broccoli a lot, so, if you're going to mistakenly bring me veg instead of the lilies that I've been hinting at, can you grab me a couple of heads of the green stuff please?
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.