Last time I tried to cook anything for a whole group of people, I overcooked the cous cous and it got all soggy and I had to sit there watching everyone poke at their food like they were pretending to enjoy it. It was like when Rachel in Friends cooked the meat trifle. It was horrible.
Sometimes though, a sister’s got to do what a sister’s got to do and, the law as laid down by the Gods of Pinterest states that if a girl’s got pals coming over to hers for Halloween, she needs to have some Halloween-themed treats on offer. Thanks Pinterest. Thanks a lot.
Anyways, here’s a few edible Halloween treats you can make that even you won’t bugger up.
These BLOODY ADORABLE pumpkins and ghosts
A child could make these. In fact a child’s probably supposed to make these, but you know what? Bugger off. All you need is some bananas, chocolate dots, celery and a bag of clementines. You probably don’t need the ‘recipe’ but, in case you’re really challenged in the art of recreating a a photograph IRL, head over to the One Little Project for the full tutorial.
Turn a pumpkin into a dip holder
For this one, just hollow out a pumpkin. Just get yourself a little pumpkin (not a big one, or you’ll be serving hummus for *days) *and cut a circle around the stalk with a sharp knife. Scoop out the insides (a metal ladle works well), fill with hummus, guacamole, baba ganoush or, if you’re feeling particularly saucy, that white dip with the suspect yellow bits in the Sainsbury’s Tex Mex dip collection. Surround with crisps. Or veg. But probably crisps.
Make these Franken-Apples
TBH, no-one will eat these. Which is probably a good thing, considering they’re full of staples. But they’ll Instagram them and that’s what counts, right? Just get a bunch of red apples and a bunch of green apples (that are roughly the same size), then staple them together to make bastardised versions of their former selves.
Carve yourself a bread coffin
HAHAHA. This is literally the shittest one. But probably the one your mates will appreciate the most, much better than Sally Knobchops’ super cute eyeball cupcakes. Get a loaf of bread, slice off the top, hollow out and arrange the top like a coffin lid. Fill with dips and again, surround with crisps. Make sure you don’t forget a model skeleton or vampire though, otherwise you’re just a gal with a loaf of bread and a shit ton of hummus.
Give up totally with ‘pumpkin poo’
Get a jar, fill it with cheese balls (‘I LOVE a cheese ball’) and write ‘pumpkin poo’ on it. Bob’s your mum. You’re done.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.