'I've heard that hula hooping is good for your core. I can't wait to see the results. How do you work your abs on a Saturday? #eatclean #gettheglow #strongnotskinny #wod #workout #gym #gymlife #saturday #selfie #weekend #brunch #health '
Nah. Don't worry. That's not your average Instagram superstar hula hooping her way to perfect abs whilst perching atop a cliff overlooking Los Angeles. No. Instead, that caption goes along with a picture of Bella Younger, comedian, standing in an overcast garden with a ring of hula hoop packets taped round her waist.
Bella, is Stella. Deliciously Stella, that is.
We first met Stella just over a year ago when she gave The Debrief her EXCLUSIVE BEACH BODY READY DIET GUIDE. We were very lucky to get it. It's a foolproof plan. Tips include; eating at your desk to work your arm muscles and munching on mini Crunchie bites instead of honey.
Now, Bella's got a Deliciously Stella comedy show and she's doing it up in Edinburgh. The premise is that Stella (Bella explains) is sad because her boyfriend went to Burning Man and dumped her for 'like, the top wellness blogger in the world'. Obviously, this being 2016, Stella goes on a mission to get a book deal and win him back.
We caught up with Bella in between shows to find out how she separates Bella and Stella.
Hey Bella. Do people totally think you’re Stella now?
Oh 100%. I’ll go to a meeting and people are like ‘why aren’t you drinking a Lucozade?’ And I’m like, erm, because it’s Monday and I don’t have a hangover?
What was the clean eating straw that finally broke the camel’s back and led to Stella’s creation?
I think it was just the sheer volume of avocados. I couldn’t believe how many avocados there were. Everyone was doing it. Then my mum bought one of the [food blogger] books and was like ‘We are going to eat this way. We are going to be gorgeous!’ And I looked at the recipe list and I was like ‘MUM HOW MUCH MONEY HAVE YOU SPENT?!’
Yeah I had some birch water yesterday. It is not The One.
So it’s not like water?
No. It’s got the same consistency as spunk.
That’s fine, I think coconut water tastes like cum.
Yeah man, similar to that. What’s the most ridiculous diet concept you’ve come across in your Stella travels?
I think just everything that Amanda Chantal Bacon eats. (Read Amanda, founder of some company called Moon Juice’s infamous What I Eat In A Day article here. It is literally incredible.) It was like ‘I make myself a drink that’s full of heart tonic and matcha like, fairy wings, like eye of toad. Just ridiculous. They all sounded like witch recipes around a cauldron.
I think someone worked out you’d need like $1,800 a day to do that diet (it was actually $710 – sue me)
Yeah. I’m just like ‘NO’.
Have you had any backlash from the clean eating gang?
Nah. I did get trolled quite agressively by a group of 12 year olds the other day. They were like ‘we’re athletes’ and ‘this is disgusting. I can’t believe you’re doing this’ and ‘you’re promoting a diabetic lifestyle and I was like ‘I just poured some juice on my head, you can’t get diabetes like that.’
Ah right. See I was confused by that. Thanks for clearing up.
It got really bad and I messaged back and was like ‘I’m really sorry, if you don’t like it that’s fine. It’s not for everyone’ and then loads of people rushed to my defense and there was this war on my account between mums and twelve year olds being like ‘This makes people feel better!’ or ‘No! She’s disgusting!’ I mean Jesus Christ!
Jeez. Some people take the food thing SO SERIOUSLY.
Yeah it’s pretty sincere. And, I’m a very jaded, miserable human being so I find the whole joy of it all a bit much.
Do you think we’ve reached ‘peak wellness’?
Well I heard someone say the other day the we are 'over-cado'.
No. I don't want that to be a thing.. I have a theory that wellness has become so big because it’s effectively a weightloss tool dressed up as something else.
It is! All the girls on the face of it are all gorgeous and really skinny and you look at it and you go ‘Oh my God, well, if I eat like them, I’ll be gorgeous and rich and skinny’ and it’s like no, they are gorgeous and rich and skinny because their parents are gorgeous and rich and skinny. It’s genetics and the class system. That’s how it works.
Have you accidentally become a spokeswoman for backlash?
Yeah, I get contacted by eating disorder charities and I feel it might be a bit inappropriate for me to get involved in something like that, because I mean, I’m a comedian, I’m not a nutritionist or a health campaigner. I don’t want to put a foot wrong really on that sort of issue.
It’s interesting that they’re reaching out to you.
Yeah, they are, I’m not really sure what to do about stuff like that. I don’t think it’s a road that I could ever go down. I don’t think I know enough about it and I think it would be irresponsible.
Maybe it's a case of trying to fight social media with social media maybe? I don’t know.
I guess so.
What’s the most outrageously gross thing you’ve eaten in the name of Stella?
I think the first time I tried the avocado and Haribo eggs on toast (it’s one of Bella’s most famous dishes) it was the most disgusting dish I have ever tried in my whole life. I ate it because I thought ‘this’ll be hilarious’ and it was just literally hell. It was so bad.
People are well into that Meal Deal rating group on Facebook at the moment. What would your stellar offering be?
My favourite thing is a smoked ham and mustard sandwich, a packet of Quavers, and it used to be a Lilt bt you can’t really get a Lilt anymore so now it’s a Fanta.
I feel like that’s a really strong choice. I think it would do well.
Do you think? Because that’s my all-time absolute favourite, I love a smoked ham and mustard sandwich.
An excellent choice.
Bella Younger is performing Deliciously Stella daily at 19:15, Pleasance Below, from now until Sunday 28th August. Buy your tickets here.
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
Here's What Food The Athletes Are Eating In The Olympic Village At Rio 2016
Forget Meal Deal Talk, Rate My Tea Is The New Facebook Group To Judge Your Culinary Choices
Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.