First things first. Here's some inspirational music for you to listen to whilst you read this post:
Cool.
Now you've realised you're a bit of a shit to your mum who raised you for 18 28 years, gave birth to you and basically funded the disaster that is your whole life so far, perhaps you've realised that it's probably time to give a little something back.
Luckily, this coming weekend there's a holiday called Mothers' Day which encourages hapless children to do just that; show their mother how much they appreciate them.
Seeing as you're a grown up now, perhaps it's time to graduate from giving your mum her annual gift of a pair of socks and some pyjamas from Gap. Sure, she always *says *she loves her present but, that's because she's your mum and you could literally give her a log you found in the garden as a CD holder (my brother genuinely did this) and she'd be happy.
Instead of a physical gift this year, why not take your mum out? For a nice afternoon tea? Don't panic, we don't mean to like, the Ritz or anything but you know, some place nice. And cheap.
Here's a few options.
Afternoon Tea @ Cutter & Squidge
Funny name but this place is Pinterest Mum's dream. Located in London's Soho they're doing a special Mother's Day afternoon tea that's £15.50 for one or a more fancy one that's £24.90 each for two. There's mini sandwiches, smoked cheese scones, something called a 'biskie' which is a biscuit/cookie/cake thing and then cakes and drinks.
Afternoon Tea at Cutter & Squidge will be served at weekends from 12pm until 4pm. Seats can be booked either via phone or online.
Little Nan's Tropical Afternoon Tea & Cocktails Party @ Little Nan's Tropical Den
If your mum's less erm, sober (in both senses of the word) than your average mum, you're going to need booze with your afternoon tea. Head to London's Peckham for Little Nan's Tropical Den pop up which has extended it's stay due to huge demand. For £25 you can get pastries, cakes, scones, sandwiches and, most importantly, cocktails that they'll make especially for you all in the bonkersly kitsch setting underneath The Golden Anchor.
Little Nan's Tropical Afternoon Tea & Cocktails Party, Sat March 5+ Sun March 6th. Book here.
Mother's Day Afternoon Tea Treat @ Dreamland Margate
If you find yourself in the achingly hip (really) Margate this weekend head to the restored theme park Dreamland for one of their two sittings of Mothers' Day afternoon tea set in the old restored 1920's ballroom. £14.95 per person gets you scones, cakes and finger sandwiches as well as tea (obvs) and (more importantly) prosecco.
Mothers Day at Dreamland, Sunday March 6 at 12PM and 3PM - book tickets here.
Afternoon Tea @Sugar Junction
One of Manchester's fancier tea shops located in the Norther Quarter, Sugar Junction does afternoon teas for every budget from the 'Cream Tea' (£7.50) to the Traditional Afternoon Tea (£15.95) with fruit scones, mini muffin sandwiches, clotted cream and more. If your mum's gluten free they'll also cater for that.
Afternoon Tea daily at Sugar Junction, book here.
Mothers' Day @ Cup
Glasgow's most famous tea rooms know what they're doing in the afternoon tea game and are specially prepared for Mothers' Day. This year, for £20, you can get everything from a smoked cheese tartlet to a crayfish and leomon & thyme vol au vent. On the sweet side there' s a rose lemonade cupcake to a Jaffa cake macaroon. Oh, and there's prosecco too.
Mothers' Day Afternoon Tea at Cup, Sun 6 March. Book a table here.
Like this? Then you might also be interested in:
Tinder, Biker Jackets And Plastic Surgery: How I Coped With My Mum's Post-Divorce Renaissance
Even Kate Moss's Daughter Says Her Mum's 'Embarrassing And Annoying'
Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.