Have you caught Luisa Omeilan live yet? If not, you’re not going to need to rectify that sharply. Think of the no nonsense comedian not as someone to entertain you but as the spirit animal and life guru you’ve so desperately needed.
I’ve seen Luisa four times. Every time I cried. Which sounds weird at a comedy show, but bear with me. Every time, it was because Luisa encouraged me to feel stuff that I thought made me a weirdo. Stuff I tried not to think about, stuff about myself that I wasn’t proud of and tried to suppress. Luisa not only talked about that stuff, she joked about that stuff and actually managed to get me to laugh about that stuff.
Her shows What Would Beyoncé Do and Am I Right Ladies have both received five stars across the board. Her turn at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival recently has had nearly 3 million views on YouTube and now, she’s just released a book. Also called What Would Beyoncé Do? And it’s well worth a read. Borrowing some bits from its namesakes’ set and other bits from Luisa’s life experiences it’s the closest you can come to actually getting to one of her shows.
We decided to use this as a chance to talk to Luisa about her book.
Dear Luisa. Taylor Swift always has about a zillion friends around her. I don’t have a group of girlfriends or a ‘squad’ if you will. Is this OK?
It’s really hard if you look around and see everyone else being part of a group. That’s something that can make you feel insecure and isolated. But it’s important to focus on the things that you can do and things that you can enjoy. I can’t think of anything worse than going on a night out with five girls and having to go to the toilets together.
I love one on one time with an individual, I’m all over them and they’re all over me. Plus, doing more stuff by yourself gives means you get more opportunities to be braver. Someone in a gang wouldn’t go away on their own, go out on their own. If you haven’t got a group of girlfriends there’s nothing wrong with you, you’re amazing you’ve got the chance to do things on your own and that’s great.
Dear Luisa. You seem like you’ve mastered the whole getting older and being OK with it thing. How can I do this?
Are you joking? I hate it! I’m still going ’fuck I’m 33 and what the fuck am I doing with my life??’ There’s a lot of pressure but you’ve got to do stuff when you’re ready. Like, if I was to try and have a baby right now I’d have to think, am I ready? If I had a baby right now I’d be like ‘Oh my god you’re annoying. I have to deal with you right now but I just want to go out.’
Dear Luisa. How do I learn to take a compliment without visually dying?
It’s really important to take a pause and say, ‘Thank You’. It’s really important to accept and receive gifts. I still really struggle but I just try and be like ‘thanks’ because they wouldn’t say it if they didn’t mean it. If they think I’m big-headed then that’s on them. If I tell someone they look beautiful I’m doing it because I want them to feel beautiful and it’s nice to be told you look nice. Take it and don’t panic whether that person is going to judge you because you said ‘thank you’.
Dear Luisa. Now wellness and clean eating is more of the thing do you think we’re under more pressure to look a certain way?
There will always be people who have their own agenda. But for me, like when I do my thigh gap joke I get messages from girls going ‘You make it OK to be big. I just had a donut, thanks for bigging up bigger girls,’ And I’m like hang on a second! I’ve never said let’s all eat ten hundred donuts and get fat and be really proud of ourselves. The thigh gap is stupid. You spending your whole life going out with your friend and counting calories rather than enjoying their company is stupid. Have a healthy attitude towards yourself, a healthy attitude towards your food and towards exercise. I eat so much crap it’s not good for me but I don’t think you should be raving about the fact that you’ve had your third kebab this week.
The wellness thing, the intention is in the right place. We should be getting healthy. Exercise makes you feel good and your mental health is so important. As for the negative people, there will always be those people. It’s the extremes that make people feel shit about themselves. Yes, we could all be healthier but I’m not going to live my life crying that I don’t fit into a fucking size whatever. If you’re 25 stone down to like, ten then good for you, well done. But if you’re 25 stone down to six…. No. That’s fucked. Go and eat some cake. You need a cuddle.
Dear Luisa. How do I deal if I’m having really bad sex?
Oh my God. I’d say ‘This is really bad. This is shit. This is awful. I can’t.’ Every time. There was this one guy called Rob; ginger pasty fucker and for a year we were flirting, flirting and oh my God we eventually had sex and it was such awful sex. It was so awkward. If it’s really bad just get out. Be nice to him and say, ‘thank you so much’ don’t give him any more issues, just say thank you I had a really nice time, but I’ll speak to you never, bye, run out.
If it’s not un-saveable then you have to be like mate. What the fuck. No. Just no. What are you doing? No. Let’s start again. Give me your hand I’ll tell you what to do. You just listen to me now. And most guys you’ll find will be like Oh OK. But if they don’t then go well I don’t want to sleep with you anyways and get out of the situation safely. You know what they’re like with their egos. But yes. Always be honest.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.