Thanks government! Thanks recession! Thanks limited job pool and rising rent prices! Are you one of the 25 per cent of 23-34 year olds who still live with Mum and Dad? If you are, don’t worry – whilst we don’t understand exactly what the root of the problem is (probably something to do with Justin Bieber) we do know it’s not your fault. It’s just how today’s depressing miserable world works.
Anyways – there are plenty of pros to living back home; nice wine, clean toilets, Mum’s taxi service… But yes, we must admit, there are also cons. Here are a few things to buy to help make the whole thing easier.
This fridge that'll stop arguments
When you live with your parents let’s face it – they buy the majority of the food. This gives you absolutely no right to get first dibs on anything – even when it’s something you’ve bought – such is the proportional nature of money spent on food between the two parties. So, if you do decide to splash out on some fresh coriander to make that Thai Green when your friend comes over on Friday, theres’a very good chance Mum’ll get to it first and you can’t say anything about it. Stash this secret fridge behind your bed for your stingy foodie purchases that you don’t want to share.
This blackboard that'll stop panicked phone calls
Even if you’ve lived on your own quite happily for nigh on five years, moving back home sets you right back to being 17 Again (great film BTW) with parents constantly wondering where you are, when you’re going to be home and who you’re hanging out with. To save the constant harassing phone calls and texts that you can’t be bothered to respond to, pre-empt them by writing your movements on this blackboard before you leave the house. Just make sure you overestimate your arrival time home to save them staying up until 2AM if you decide to stay for 'just one more round'.
This baby oil that has dual purposes
Sneaking in at 4AM isn’t ideal, but it’s going to happen. You just don’t want your parents to know on how much of a regular basis it does happen. Creaky doors are a dead giveaway and bound to catch you out at some point. And since you don’t want to spend £5.99 on a can of WD40 that you’re only going to use once, invest in some baby oil, which, it turns out works just as well on creaking hinges, comes in a spray bottle, costs £1.25 and gives you baby soft skin. Result.
These headphones, which mean you can watch Netflix in peace
Funninly enough, ever since you and your siblings left home the first time around, your have parents seemed to find a new lease of life, and a whole new group of mates. Their social life is now raucous. Between Mum's recorder group on Monday, Dad's cycling one on Wednesday and the seven or so other couples that regularly come over for dinner every Saturday to drink all the wine in the world, it seems you can't get a minute's peace. The oldies of today, eh? These headphones will enable you to watch House Of Cards in peace – even better they're wireless so you can plonk your laptop on whatever viewing spot suits it best in your room without having to move yourself with it.
This 'expensive' hand soap that'll look like you're contributing
Everyone knows that Molton Brown hand soap is the shit. If you're ever in Buckingham Palace you know it's what they're stocking in the bathrooms. Buying some for your family bathroom would be an excellent way to show your mum that you're willing to chip in and you're absolutely not treating the place like a hotel. Trouble is, it's kind of expensive. £34? C'mon. BUT head over to eBay where you'll find a fine number of cut-price bottles on offer. Sure they're all probably filled with Radox or something but we all know it's the bottle that counts.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.