Small Garden Ideas: Ways To Make Your Pathetic Patch Slightly Better Than Before

It's not going to look great, but my God it's going to look passable.


by Jess Commons |
Updated on

OH YAY IT’S SUMMER. That means it’s prime time to wipe off the cobwebs and open up your back door to…. er, whatever pathetic outdoor space your rented pile of bricks comes with, because isn't the garden always the most neglected part of the house? Be it concrete scrubland, a balcony the size of a cat litter tray or even a bit of nextdoor's roof that you climb out of a window to get to, be happy in the fact if you've got some outdoor space. Until you can afford a house with land, here's some ideas to maybe make your embarrassingly small garden look a bit less shit.

Lots Of Decorations Are Your Friends

There’s no two ways about it guys, we’re polishing a turd here. One day you can have rolling hills and fountains and the like, but until then your garden is probably confined to a concrete 2ft by 3ft block that’s hanging off the side of your building. You’re going to need all the help you can get. Fairy lights will hide all manner of sins, as will this string of bells you can wind round rails until the place looks half presentable.

You Too Can BBQ

So you’re not going to get a full sized BBQ in your urban "oasis" – even one of those disposable things takes up a full person-sized space and in desparate times, every square inch counts. One of these guys might help you out though. Ban burgers immediately (too much surface area) and stick to sausages for maximum cooking space. Also, hang it on the outside so you don’t take up valuable standing space. Just make sure you give your downstairs neighbours a heads up in case any bangers make a run for it.

How can I grow, if you won’t let me blow?

If you're like us and manage to kill cactuses, a full on herb garden isn't ever going to be a thing, even if you had a giant space to work with. These hanging bauble planters are £16 each. In theory, 3 of them is enough to manange - one for each of the most neccessary 'erbs which’ll obviously be coriander (curry) basil (spag bol) and mint (mojito). - and you'll feel like you've put the tits back in Alan Titsmarsh.

How a-floor-dable!

You're not about to lay down decking in a rented place are you - let's face it, that one wild hooray round Ikea was the closest you'll probably come to interor designing. Do the next best thing and gussy up that cracked concrete with this snazzy outdoor rug. It's a lot nicer than sititng on the cold ground, it'll stop weeds coming through and if you can be arsed to drag it to Glastonbury with you, you can be the envy of your friends.

Never go to the fridge again

Nothing says 'glamourous' than a cold drink on a hot summer's day - and nothing says faff like climbing over everyone to get it out the fridge. So think: what would Beyoncé do? Probably have someone get it for her. Failing that she'd probably have stool that also stores drinks. If you need a cheaper one just use this and fill it with ice yo!

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Follow Jess on Twitter @jess_commons

Picture: Lukasz Wierzbowski

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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