5 Things We’ve Learned From The Fifty Shades Of Grey Reviews

5 Things We've Learned From The Fifty Shades Of Grey Reviews


by Emily Phillips |
Published on

As anticipation continues to grow ahead of the world premiere in London, a smattering of critics have had a** first glimpse of the most talked about film featuring whips, chains, red rooms of pain (and definitely no sex jellyfish) of recent years. And it's not as bad as you'd imagine (APPARENTLY). Read on for what we've learned about Fifty Shades of Grey from the reviews so far...

1. It's better than the book

Fears that the movie would fall into the same trap as E.L. James' novels in failing to keep up the knowing humour when things got lusty have apparently been allayed by a consistent scrip from Brit screenwriter Kelly Marcel. Out when the tampons, in with the awkward flirting, and hey presto, you've got yourself a latter day 9 1/2 weeks with some dialogue between the buttery bits.

2. There's not enough sex

Movie-goers were apparently left 'frustrated' at the 'tame' movie. According to some sources, the first sex scene takes place a whole 40 minutes into the film and there is only 11 (or 15, depending who you believe) full minutes of action out of 125 between BDSM mouse Anastasia Steele and the smouldering topless pianist Christian Grey. Obviously fans felt that for this film, they would be attending an actual porn cinema and would become instantly pregnant with Jamie Dornan's child within the opening credits. Sam Taylor-Wood is a classy director, she's going to make you work for them goodies.

3. There will be laughs

A film full of impossibly handsome business men, helicopters and horny bondage scenes would be very po-faced and hard to watch if it weren't for a modicum of humour. But according to one review, much has been made of the comedy of the sexual tension between our leading pair - especially during the contract negotiation scene.

4. It will make you squirm in your seat

From viewers getting 'restless' ('that's what she said') to the fact that it has sparked a wave of sex toy merchandise, you couldn't expect to see Fifty Shades and not get a little antsy while watching. Jamie Dornan has his top off the whole time. We love him when he's wearing a jumper, an anorak and a full hedge on his face, so we're hardly going to be sitting still for this. When things ramp up, there will be boobs, bums, and possibly even a flash of Dornan sausage, but for some reviewers there were not enough orgasms. We'll leave you to judge that.

5. Jamie Dornan is excellent

According to Variety's review he 'largely nails (among other things) the combination of intense formality and playful lewdness that defines Christian Grey,' so even if you don't like his face, or his bod, you'll enjoy his acting. Which is a bonus.

Fifty Shades of Grey hits screens on Friday February 13 (hopefully lucky for some).


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