There's no better way to celebrate that major spring clean you just got around to doing, than by showing off (and subsequently completely messing up) your beautifully tidy and spotless flat.
OK that might sound like a terrible idea, but throwing a dinner party is one of those things you have to do at least once a year or you never end up getting invited to the really fun ones where people fall asleep under the table and run off to snog in the loo. The one downfall about all this wine-drinking and partying is the actual dinner bit, which you sort of have to make at least half an effort to provide, because chances are the majority of the people will be coming straight from work with just a crap panini and a burned latte in their stomachs.
My advice? Get a takeaway, ask them to drop it in to the kitchen window Come Dine With Me style and then focus on what you're going to wear. Getting it right is hitting that Nigella in the 90's target, getting it wrong is a night spent dashing in and out of your bedroom in different outfits. Do yourself a favour and follow my lead.
LIPSTICK
Nothing's going to get you more in the mood for covering a table with food you couldn't afford to buy in the first place than channelling some serious Monica Belluci D&G vibes. Come over all warm, hospitable and ravishingly sexy by slicking on some dark red lipstick and refusing to put out your cigarette all night. Even if you don't smoke. In fact, especially if you don't smoke.
Lipstick, £18, Bobbi Brown
SOMETHING 'SULTRY'
Yes yes I'm aware this is all a bit date night-y but you're going to have to trust me up to this point. Although you're in your own house and you may have been there all day pretending to cook but just feeling generally awkward about whether anyone's going to show up, the temptation to wear leggings and a kaftan must be resisted. Fuck it, you might as well wear that uncomfortable yet chic dress you bought 18 months ago and have yet to find the right event for. You'll feel like a relatively domestic goddess and not at all overdressed. If you haven't got such a dress languising in your wardrobe, here's one to try...
Black slip dress, £45, River Island
SLIPPERS
Yep, slippers. Ugg slippers, knitted booties, big fluffy bunnies or feathery mules, whichever you choose (or rather, whichever you have already) whack em on under your party dress and bask in the warm self-satisfied glow of the perfectly balanced outfit. If you were a really good host you'd provide pair for all your guests too, but let's be honest, some of them aren't even going to bring wine.
Rabbit slippers, £10.66, Play.com
YOUR BEST JEWELLERY
The beauty of getting drunk in your own living room is not being able to leave your favourite giant fluffy Meadham Kirchhoff stole on the floor of a hotel bar and nigh on assaulting the door staff in a different venue for having no idea what you're talking about when you suddenly come to and realise it's gone. Basically it means you can pile on all your most precious stuff and drink all night and not wake up the next day with a sinking feeling you left the family heirloom on the bus. Plus, it'll look extra glamorous in pictures.
Miu Miu earrings, £269, eBay
PYJAMAS
Because once the night has died down and you're all bleary eyed and sitting on the floor watching Sex & The City reruns you need some way to signal to everyone that the party's over and they better start swapping Uber codes. You may not have a closing time or a bouncer to do the work for you, but walking out of your bedroom in a pair of silk pyjamas is about as bold a statement of 'I'm exhausted and already a bit hungover' as you can get. Sweet dreams.
Silk PJs, £300, Olivia von Halle
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.