WTF To Wear… On A Long Flight

Including wine. And good toe nail polish. Yes, really


by Bertie Brandes |
Published on

The irony of the weather becoming beautiful in the UK is that suddenly we're all booking Easyjet flights to places where you have to pay hundreds of euros to sleep in the equivalent of a Holiday Inn. I personally am jetting off to Ibiza, not for the clubbing though (don't have the stamina) but for the chance to meander aimlessly around in the sun - AKA do exactly what I'm doing now, for lots more money.

Ok obviously I'm exaggerating - time off work + daytime alcohol is brilliant. But the prospect of dressing well on a beach is making me nervous so instead I've written a guide to being fabulous on a flight. A friend of mine recently flew first class (don't ask) and in between all the fits of valium hysterics, she said it was the most glamorous she'd ever felt. I'll be damned if I get upgraded (yes I'm aware there's only standard class on Easyjet - excuse me for dreaming) and have to endure the "most glamorous I've ever felt" in taupe leggings and an old GAP T-shirt.


Am I allowed to say that? But let's be honest, you're on a plane in the air. If you're going to look chic you need to be at least on the tipsy spectrum. Accept that Bloody Mary, and try not to clip the arms of your chair quite so tightly. It's a little distressing to the other passengers. Also the colour of this rose makes my mouth inadvertently pucker, but the name is too perfect not to buy a bottle just to try.


Ripe and Juicy Rose, £4.99, Waitrose


Pretty much entirely because nobody knows you aren't Kristen Stewart and what's the point allowing them the satisfaction of finding out? Also big sunglasses allow you to pretend to sleep while you scout for a possible rich husband or a guilty and generous best friend. Also, if they're elaborate enough (step away from the Prada Willy Wonka sunglasses, that's not what I mean) they'll manage to lift even the taupest of leggings into the chic-sphere. Yep, the chic-sphere.


Sunglasses, £255, Miu Miu


Preferably high-waisted and white. Not for wearing on the plane don't be psychotic, but for quickly pulling on as you stomp out into passport control, so everyone thinks you're a goddess who doesn't eat aeroplane food at all let alone drop it all over themselves. Do you really think Victoria Beckham actually wears her leather jeans on the 9 hour flight from London to LA? Think again. You might wanna slick some lipgloss on too, though the scent combined with the nausea of travelling and that heinous "breakfast" sandwich you ate at 5:45am is a one way ticket to dry-heaving into baggage collection area bin.


Stretch zip pant, £74, American Apparel


I know, I know, yawn. But in a totally not-fashion-conscious sense, this is a great way to intensify any wild stories of yourself you may (almost definitely) end up spinning to the person sitting next to you, before you fall asleep with your head in their lap. It's also really comfy. And look I know we're not supposed to talk about Paris Hilton being our style icons anymore, but if anyone knows how to do "just got off a long haul flight dishevelled yet perfect" it's Queen P.


Princeton jumper, £24, Princeton shop!


There's nothing worse than having to use lip balm to moisturise your hands and feet when you realise the air pressure plus altitude is make you swell and peel. It's really not going to help you convince that medium-hot guy three aisles behind that he should totally look you up once you're both settled into your hotels. Don't overspend on something you won't be able to smell or appreciate, and don't forget if it's bigger than tiny (the technical term) then they'll make you throw it away before you get on the plane. :(. Not in a totally scrounger-y way, but I find the sample size bottles from Aesop are absolutely spot on. Just buy something as well. Or, at least, pretend to.


Body Balm, £25, Aesop


Because the internet still exists, even when you're 20,000 feet above ground.


Rose Quartz nail varnish, £2.99, Barry M

Follow Bertie on Twitter @bertiebrandes

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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