Come one, come all, as I slowly but surely convince you to elevate your joggers' status from 'it's Sunday and I'LL BE DAMNED if you're getting me in anything more than clothes that share DNA with pyjamas' to 'so, which pair of these super sweet jersey sweats do you think looks best with my Paris Hilton, circa 2002, chainmail top?' I sense reluctance on your part and rightly so. Sweats are sweats for a reason. But, lest I remind you, track is well and truly back (cc: Vetements) and, let's be real, why wouldn't you want to adopt a lifestyle in which your slob cobber is good for more than the milk run. I rest my case.
1. Get Shirty
I'm putting an end to the confusion once and for all: this is truly what they meant when they said 'business casj'. I did the digging and the sartorial powers that be gave this shirty and tracky combo the thumbs up. I, too, am giving it the proverbial thumbs up because the elasticized waistband ensures that I can go H.A.M. at the chocolate fountain, free from the worry that a cinched-in waist is impeding my ability to top my record amount of marshmallows consumed in one sitting. (22, FYI.)
2. Do A Push Up
Swing low, sweet drop crotch. May I present to you the perfect trouser for smuggling cantaloupe. I imagine. Also a pretty perfect trouser to wear with a sheer crop and a pair of bedazzled leopard heels, but I feel as though the cantaloupe thing is a stronger sell.
3. Fluff It Up
I have repeated this outfit upwards of seven times. I shit you not. Why? Maybe it's the surprise element - "you're wearing wide leg... jogging bottoms?! And a... ballet leotard?! And a... pair of feather sleeves?! U OK, hun?!" - or maybe it's because the wide leg facilitates my strong desire to vent my lower half at all times. Either way, I have since bought three more pairs of this exact pant and I implore you to do the same.
4. Slip It On
Similar: ASOS WHITE Paperbag Jogger, £45
It seems like only yesterday we were all lamenting the return of the dress-over-trouser nightmare we thought we'd lived through (read: survived) in the early aughts. Maybe it was?! I've lost track of time. Accepting joggers as a way of life will do that to you. You lose any semblance of normality. Alas, here we are: our trousers and our dresses reunited once more. I have upped that much alluded to ante by teaming mine with a gown worthy of the TV Choice Awards red carpet (no tea, no shade, no pink lemonade) but which is actually a bargain I picked up in the nightwear section of ASOS. (And the award for most frugal spender goes to MEEEEE!!!!)
5. Blue Sky Thinking
Between you and me, I think I really nailed the whole fling-your-arm-casually-across-your-body-so-as-to-show-off-your-dragon-embroidered-sleeve pose. Would you agree? You know what, I wouldn't care all that much if you didn't because LOOK AT HOW GREAT THIS SET IS! LOOK AT IT, WILL YOU! If I had any boxes to my name, this would tick all of them.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.