It’s that time of the decade again – when the vuvuzelas come out, your office is organising a sweepstake and you’re suddenly being invited to a World Cup house party every single night. But what to wear when you suddenly get madly, passionately into football for four weeks – but don't want to totally compromise your style by suddenly filling your wardrobe with flammable stuff?
The New Hooligan
If all you really want to do is get drunk and shout this World Cup, just own up to it. Football’s fun but it’s made way more fun by a room full of people screaming every time the ball goes onto the opposite side of the pitch. If everybody else is wearing team colours, unite with your 14-year-old alcopop-guzzling self and bring out the Burberry check.
Not only is this Faustine Steinmetz roll-neck hand-made and seriously classy, it also manages to shout LOUT louder than pulling out your earrings and nicking a handful of Bubbaloos from your local corner shop.
The ‘Is It All Over Yet’ Look
If the closest you’ve ever been to a football match is changing to the Victoria line at Highbury & Islington, you might not be thrilled at the onslaught of World Cup parties you’re about to find yourself showing up to with two innappropriate bottles of Prosecco.
Still, even if you think watching football is about as interesting as hearing Boris Johnson drone on about the benefits of water cannons, you should probably show some support for your hosts. After all, they’re the ones with the BBQ.
Avoid specific team colours because you don’t want to find yourself in the middle of a drunken argument, but definitely throw on something in perforated neoprene (Simone Rocha if it’s available, vintage if it isn’t). I’m hesitant to use the words ‘chic’, ‘sporty’ and ‘luxe’ in one sentence, so I won’t. But you get the gist.
The Sexy One
Patriotic hot pants and flags on over your nipples are fine if you’re into The Cheeky Girls and don’t care that The Daily Mail will probably put you on their front page, but you can still do sexy without the face paint.
A high-waisted pair of jeans (these are vintage Wrangler, which are very easy to find) are just as slinky as whatever it was from the La Senza pyjama section you were planning on squeezing into. Plus, you’ll be eternally grateful for the pockets. Add a bikini top to the mix for that 3-Strongbows-in nudity factor and you’re good to go.
Vintage Wrangler jeans from Rokit; vintage Croatia football shirt stylist’s own.
The Last-Minute Patriot
Yes, I’m aware Arsenal isn’t a country. But if you don’t want to fork out on a new shirt (fair enough) and you already have your team one, you might as well dress the rest of yourself like somebody who gets drunk with Andy and Spencer at a chateau party on Made in Chels to show your support for ENGERLAND.
It’s way too obvious to ridicule the person wearing ridiculous trousers and the wrong shirt, so hopefully nobody will bother. If it all goes pear-shaped, just wear your shirt inside out and laugh whenever anyone asks you why.
Arsenal top stylist’s own; vintage trousers from Beyond Retro.
The Iconic One
Alternatively, wear absolutely anything with a beautiful vintage football shirt and be flawless.
Vintage jeans from Beyond Retro; vintage 1998 England shirt, stylist’s own.
Styling: Bertie Brandes
Make-up: Jessica Taylor using MAC
Hair: Satoru Yanagawa
Follow Bertie on Twitter @bertiebrandes
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.