When cropped tops became a thing again, I reacted much in the same way as I did when people were talking about those giant Asian hornets coming over to the UK. Was I the only one who can't deal with them? Maybe I should move away. I should have gone to the gym more, then I would be cool with them like everyone in all the magazines. How big in centimetres are their stings and I should carry poison around so, if I see one, I can use it on myself The last one is predominantly focusing on the hornets, but the dread and shame seeps into cropped tops, too. Which is frustrating because nobody should feel intimidated by an item of clothing. Even if it is designed to show off your stomach.
It took about a year for me to figure out how to wear cropped tops, and when I bought my first one I felt like a real Fashion Person Champ. Especially considering they're not as difficult to wear as I first thought. And no, I'm not going to be all 'OMG lol they're so flattering lah-trally everyone can pull them off' because that's not true. If your belly is something you're really, really uncomfortable about, then no amount of sassy tricks n tips are going to make you feel excellent in a cropped top. And that's OK, because no human can look good in every item of clothing the Fashion People deem chic. But it might still be worth giving some of the below ideas a go, just in case you surprise yourself. Potentially do it when drunk so you don't get upset if it doesn't work out - you can just drunk-buy something that looks awesome.
Wear something under it
The classic. Get a cropped top, put a longer top underneath it so you don't have to have your stomach flashing all over the place. Especially good if the cropped top is off-the-shoulder, and the singlet is one of those ones with the lacy straps. You can probably tell, by the use of my excellent phraseology, that I'm a massive Fashion Person. Anyway, a singlet works but so does a dress. Yes! Stick a tight dress on and put that cropped top over the top to create a high-waisted skirt look without the issue of having to constantly hike up the skirt! Black dresses with coloured cropped tops look extra good if you're worried about your tummy, or plan to eat a large pizza at any point in the evening.
Wear something over it
Kimonos are massive right now, and H&M do some really sick ones (sick meaning good, not vomity) you can wear unbuttoned if you've gone for a sleeveless cropped top and you're worried about the upper arms situation. Also, if you're just feeling a bit scared of the whole cropped thing in general, having another layer dilutes everything. Like a juice. A cropped juice. A kimono helps you create a cropped juice, and I'll fight anyone who says that sentence doesn't make any sense.
Wear a whole other top over it
So yeah you can cover it up arms-wise, but putting something lacy over the top (extra style points if its high-necked) or totally sheer will look super hot and scatters peoples' eyeline enough so that they can't even really see what's going on with your skin. Another top cover-up tip is buying a big, crisp shirt and wearing it done up to just below the hem of the cropped top - the top of your stomach tends to be slimmer than the bottom, so this creates an optical illusion that you've got washboard abs. If washboard abs are your thing.
Go for a high-necked, sleeved style
For those entering into virgin cropped top territory, it can be a big ask to ge your tits, your stomach and your arms out. That amount of skin is certainly a shock to my system, which is why I am currently sticking to sleeved cropped tops with high necklines. It just about fools my self esteem into thinking its a full top.
Wear mom jeans or high waisted pencil skirts
This is obvious - it looks good. I find mom unfortunately give me a 'mom arse' but if that doesn't worry you then go ahead.
Don't be deterred if you have big boobs
I have DDs and that was another reason I thought cropped tops were off the table, along with those really baggy shapeless tee shirt dresses that go straight up and straight down. Au contraire - your boob may billow the cropped top out a bit, but this will only serve to emphasise your waist and womanly physique. Plus, if you wear a sports bra with it, then that'll add a bit of firmness in case you're concerned about bouncing out and over the top of it.
Opt for patterns
I feel most people are less likely to say 'Er, Stevie are you wearing a cropped top?' if they're covered in bees and pineapples. Instead, they're more likely to say 'I love your bees' out of awkwardness because the bees are all they can see. Also, stripes and spots and other patterns tend to engage the eye so that the shape becomes secondary and oh my god I sound like a clothes scientist, my mother will be so proud. But it's true: bodycon dresses are more flattering when they're patterned and I've never quite understood it, but it's a fact.
Wear it with attitude
Because it's an item of clothing. And you kick arse, mate.
Like this? You might also be interested in...
Dear Fashion Industry, What Do You Have Against Sleeves In Summer?
How To Get Dressed In Summer If You Fucking Hate Showing Skin
Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.