If, like me, you spend most of your life wrapped up in black, and the colour pink is enough to put the fear of God in you, then this time of year is your least favourite time of year to go shopping.
Right now, as we wait with baited breath for the promise of some warmer weather, the shops are busy hawking their spring collections which consist of; pale pink, lilac, buttermilk yellow, palest green and other vile and terrible colours. FYI, I know these are not vile and terrible colours but, as someone that wears black day in, day out, pastel hues are, to me, somewhere up there on the fear factor with being stuck on a super turbulent flight, public speaking and/or clowns.
Luckily, not all shops are covered in flowers and daisies at the mo; least of all Scandi shops. Scandi shops get it. Scandi women wear muted colours all year round. Scandi women are my inspiration when I get dressed every morning. Scandi women are what I want to be when I grown up. And so, I trotted off to perhaps my favourite upon favourite store COS to have a look and the black things I could get my hands on for spring...
PS, I know COS isn't the cheapest - head to Weekday (no IRL stores here yet - we're still waiting :( , but you can shop online) for similar, slightly more playful and cheaper vibes.
The fisherman karate kid trousers
These are great. Mainly because you can wear them with heels if you're feeling fancy but also with your Adidas Gazelles (also black) if you're being lazy. They've got a nify wraparound front thing that kind of makes them into a skort/culotte hybrid. Also, they're super soft so, whilst you might be fooling any onlookers into thinking you're a really fancy bean, what they don't know is that you're actually wearing your pyjamas. Snap.
The bubble dress
This is exactly what I would wear if I was an Oompa Loopa who escaped from Willy Wonka World, headed to the streets of Paris and became a muse for some posh fashion designers. Voluminous, soft and cushioned, this dress shares far more DNA with a sleeping bag than it does a super chic dress. And yet it still looks great. Another one for the pyjama-cum-evening wear drawer; a genre of clothing I am fast getting into.
The 'I'm much posher than I am dress'
This dress is so posh I clearly felt the need to salute. I'm all over this dress. It's the sort of thing everyone should have hanging up ready to wear when you get invited to something fancy and can't be bothered to figure out a whole outfit concept. Also, if you do work in a place that requires you wear something more than jeans then this is probably good for every day too.
PS, COS styled this with black skinny trousers which is also a very good idea.
The 'is this a dressing gown or is this a dress?' dress
This again, is one of the comfiest things I've ever worn. Although, it is very low cut so, if you don't want your bazongas coming out to play then maybe team it with a polo neck or t-shirt. I feel like this is also one of those dresses that can make even the least fancy people feel like they could walk into a swanky restaurant in New York and get a table right away (is that a thing? I saw it in a film once so I think it might be a thing).
The black clothes wearer's attempt at summer hippy-dom
Sometimes I look at a website like Free People and I think, 'Dressing like i'm ready to run through meadows and deserts to end up at Coachella would be really cool.' Until I realise that none of the clothes are black. This long floaty dress is a good compromise; sensible with heels, but team it with Birkenstocks and beach wavy hair and you're basically a whimsical fairy being.
The tulip skirt that actually looks good
Remember when tulip mini skirts were a thing like three years ago? Like everyone all of a sudden had a bubble butt? Turn that silhouette into a midi skirt though and you're onto a winner; now you only look like you've got giant knees, rather than a giant bum. And giant knees are cool right? Right.
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Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.