While everyone is looking at the catwalk shows going on right now. We're rewinding the clock and heading back to a fashion time when flat caps and knickers were 100% a thing. Boy life was good in those days. So here are some fashion lessons you can take from past shows and TOTALLY try now.
Forgetting your trousers is not a big deal (just don’t forget your pants)
Being a fashion designer is pretty hard what with having to please Anna Wintour and all. With that in mind it’s hardly a surprise so many collections have found their way to the runway lacking a few basic necessities, the most frequently omitted being the trouser. Let’s just pretend for everyone’s sake that this is actually a 'really strong look'. That way the next time you sit on a discarded macaroon you can simply whip off your bootcuts and parade your pants to the world. Just make sure you’re wearing some.
Sometimes, just silk is all you need
Hey Perry Ellis grunge is cool and everything I totally hear you - but TBH sometimes you just have one of those days when an abundance of cream and golden silk is totally what you want. When you’re rolling out of your silk sheets peeling off your silk nightdress and sniffing a bit of silken tofu for brunch, sometimes you know.. just… silk. Silk’s good.
Matching your mini bag to your hotpants is a great idea
What’s better than one item you can’t fit your phone and wallet in? TWO obviously! This way you can prove to everyone you really, really don’t need anything other than a lanyard with a polaroid of your face on it and a banknote to enjoy yourself.
Vaseline is your friend
It’s been known to get pretty chilly backstage during New York fashion week, especially in the weather that is happening this season. I reckon your best bet to staying cool is taking a leaf out of Natalia’s book and smothering yourself in Vaseline. That way the real sweat will stay firmly inside your petroleum casing, and everyone will whisper about what a youthful glow you have this season.
Flat caps are also your friends
I know, I’m reluctant to accept this too, but when you add up just how many designers over the years have deemed it acceptable, nay, appropriate to plonk a golf cap atop an otherwise largely inoffensive outfit you’ll be tempted to follow suit. Meet you at the hat stall-cum-luggage shop by Marble Arch station? (FYI, Burberry this is all your fault).
Green is always your friend
If there’s one thing that stands out from my mini-archive of fashion week it's various alarming shades of green. Take cues from this particularly forward-thinking Chanel look by loading a woollen top and flares (v Marques’Almeida SS14) a clutch and some wonderfully hideous costume jewellery into your washing machine, pouring in a party pack of Toxic Waste and setting it to boil.
Subtlety is not a thing
Slick understated fashion is boring and anyone with a brain knows that and I shouldn’t even have to be reminding you of it via this fantastic pink towelling baseball cap but I will because word count.
Matching tights to shoes is v. chic
Despite the pic actually being Marc by Marc, this trick is one of Miuccia Prada's faves and anything Miuccia does I COPY because individual style is over! Genuinely though, if you can find the tights to perfectly match that pair of weird heels you have knocking about behind your shoe rack it will make them seem 10000x more expensive and you seem infinitely more Prada. Just make sure you stop at tights and shoes because showing up to work in full Thom Browne might mean you have to eat lunch on your own.
No one will ever make clothes this sexy and cool and brilliant ever again
Um, sorry, but it’s true. Though dungers have made a big come back this season.
And finally, a mini-bin covered in feathers perched on the top of your head is absolutely fine
Quit being the person the street style photographers actively avoid and plop this lil number over your roots. I guarantee you’ll make at least one of the lists this year and what’s more important than a list, right? Hello..? Oh right you probably stopped reading at number six.
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Pictures: Jason Lloyd-Evans
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.