According to mum-outfitters JD Williams, seven out of ten of us 'borrow' clothes off our mums, which sounds entirely accurate except in our case, instead of 'borrow' it's 'pinch'. Sorry Mum.**
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Old timey sizes were a bunch of rubbish
How in the name of Ellen DeGeneres are women meant to feel A-OK about themselves if the powers that be have been messing with their clothes' sizes like nobody’s business since the day someone first sewed a 'Size 10' label into a pair of trousers? My mum’s been passing her size 12 clothes from her 20s on to to me since I was 15 and a modern day size eight (this is SO not the case anymore BTW) and NONE of them fitted. What sorcery is this? Have dress sizes really multiplied by three in thirty years? Would definitely explain a few things. More Krispy Kremes it is.
You have the best repsonse for 'Oh that's a nice top' ever
'Yeah it's my mums? I think she got it on the Kings Road in like, 1985' basically translates to 'Sorry love, scour Topshop all you want but there's no way you're ever going to match my fashwan win today'.
Stuff back then was made way better
When was the last time you bought a top that lasted more than 3 months? You mum legit has stuff that’s older than you – and is still in pristine condition. If you keep shopping the way you do, all you're going to have to pass onto your daughter is a few scraps of stretchy cotton and a pair of trainers you bought once and never used because exercise is not a thing.
Your mum was way cooler than you will ever be
Sure now she's an M&S Per Una kind of lady who favours a nice necklace from Jaeger to top the whole thing off (and there's nowt wrong with that - it's been a solid Mum-Uniform... Mumiform? for longer than you've been alive) but, rifling through Mum's old clothes it becomes apparent that not only did she have a life before you (sacrilege) but it was actually a pretty darn cool one. Did you ever wear a pair of silk MC Hammer pants to go and see The Jam at Hammersmith Apollo? Nope.
Your mum does the old 'once over' every time she sees you
Once your mum used to greet you with a hug, a kiss and a 'I'm so pleased to see you' but now she's clocking your outfit from thirty feet away, checking to see what item of her gear you managed to pilfer last time you were at home. 'Is that my top?' Is often her opening line, and, apart from the fact that she's usually right, it's still ever so insulting.
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** Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons**
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.