Skiin: The ‘Smart’ Knickers Literally Nobody Asked For

Does anybody’s vagina really need this much technology?

Skiin: The ‘Smart’ Knickers Literally Nobody Asked For

by Lucy Morris |
Published on

Whether you like to acknowledge it or not, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, which means scores of men and women will supposedly be spending a pretty penny on underwear that will unearth an inner vixen. For the makers of pants, this is there Christmas, their big money-making moment, their till-ringing season. And, yet, the newest pants on the market are selling something certifiably unsexy: technology.

Promising to ‘optimise your sleep quality and well-being’, SKIIN’s skivvies are essentially high-tech knickers. Without you even realizing, these pants use your private parts to measure your heart rate, hydration, body fat, temperature, breathing patterns, posture and movement.

Why? Supposedly, this will help ‘people understand how sleep, activity, and mindfulness impact each other and helps users achieve goals which are important to them. Additionally, it allows your body to directly control IOT devices in your home, such as change the thermostat based off your body's temperature’, says Steve Aitken, SKIIN’s Director of Product.

Skiin: The ‘Smart’ Knickers Literally Nobody Asked For
©Skiin

This 1984 situation will link the intel your pants record and hook it up with an app that will react to the changing data you feed it. Feeling clammy? Your pants will turn on the air con. Feeling stressed? They will line up a de-stressing Spotify playlist. ‘We created SKIIN to allow humans to connect to ourselves, others, and the digital world in a very meaningful way’, says Steve.

In 1917, radium was seen as a harmless paint, something that you could ingest without fears, No, this isn’t a joke. Back then, doctor’s weren’t fully aware of the dangers of radiation poisoning. In the same vein, the links between cigarettes and cancer weren’t known until it was too late for too many. Similarly, research around consumer wearable technology’s long-term effects remains fairly oblique. Some studies suggest that cellphone technology may have long-term carcinogenic health effects even though no evidence has certifiably proved this either way. While the jury’s out, I’m happy to keep the tech as far as way from sensitive areas as I can.

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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