It’s Men’s Fashion Week, But All We Want To Know Is Whether It’s A Good Place To Pick Up Guys

To the outside world, men’s fashion week must look like a melting pot of hot bods and a hive of testosterone, but picking up guys isn’t actually all that straightforward at London Collections: Men.

To be honest, most of us sit through the shows jabbing gnarly biros into our foreheads, in the desperate hope of stumbling on intellectual thought for the millions of show reports we have to write, rather than focusing on the pick-up potential.

On paper, there’s no better place for finding yourself some brawn, but sadly it isn’t quite the glamorous, swoon-heavy experience you might expect.

For a start, LC differs hugely from the likes of Pitti Uomo (its equivalent in Milan) due to the variety of models. London menswear is super urban so designers tend to ‘street-cast’ to complement this. Think less ‘Italian stallion’, and more skinny street urchin.

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You might imagine that working backstage at the shows would put you in prime position for a bit of flirting with the models, but realistically you’re given the shit jobs that don’t put you in the best light. While a seasoned model wouldn’t break conversation as you tug off their trousers or pull out their weave, your average-Joe isn’t keen on small talk while your head is wedged in their crotch (sorting shoe laces and turn-ups, what else?).

Sure, you will get up close and personal with their ripped and stripped bits, but you’re more likely to be stuffing foam padding into their pants than stroking their muscles. All you are is a side parting and a builder’s bum to them, and neither is likely to seduce.

Menahwile, watching the shows should be the place to meet an intellectually handsome fashion editor – there are fewer people attending than at women’s fashion week so you’re packed tightly into just three rows.

But before you get excited about being in close quarters with rows of ridiculously well-dressed guys and the chance to charm them, I’m afraid small talk is a no no. It’s an unspoken rule, quite literally. So sadly, not much number swapping goes on on the Frow.

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Heading over to the presentations is slightly more promising if you’re on the pull. Out comes the Champagne and, once the room fills, it can become a bit of a challenge differentiating the static models from the rest of the press and bloggers, all of whom are impeccably stylish.

Presentations are a good practise point for gearing yourself up for the men’s fashion parties, which are notoriously rowdy. At LC , people actually drink. A lot. Dark, dank, usually underground venues bounce with life and excitement, filled with he’s, she’s and wannabes. Here, snogging in corners of rooms is possible (though probably not encouraged).

I’ve always found that the most potencially beneficial evenings come from smaller brand parties rather than big mag bashes full of model mayhem. The smaller ones tend to be peppered with interesting celebs and models – and are quiet enough for you to talk to them. Although let’s be realistic, there might not be that much to say.

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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.