*as imagined by @BertieBrandes
‘I know your first thought is the leather peplum number Shoshana wore to Hannah's birthday party, but let me explain. Sure, I'm not the most diverse of looks; pair me with the wrong strappy shoes and you're teetering into actual prom wear, pair me with trainers and you're, well, need I say more. But believe me, you want me in your wardrobe.
Why? Because I'm the naughty best friend of all your boring day dresses; I'm the dress that inexplicably looks great in pictures, needs little to no accessorising, and makes your genuine bedhead look appear as if Sam Mcknight's your live-in hair-stylist.
You can wear me with tights like Hedi's Saint Laurent wastrels (is that a word? making it one if not) or bare legged and fresh-faced like Georgia May Jagger storming through LA in the March issue of Vogue.
And no, I’m not reserved strictly for Beckham-esque bodies. The beauty of a prom-dress is it so gingerly toes the line between hideous and brilliant that you can use any and all number of details to distract from whatever you want to distract from.
Christmas belly? Swathe it in blue glitter. Don’t like your arms? Try a stole (yes, a stole, like in She’s All That). I'm the strap falling off a shoulder, a slightly obscene hemline and the reason you bought that Joseph sheepskin coat off eBay (AKA not very warm).
Sure, you can get it very wrong when wearing me: avoid a high neckline or weird cut out sleeves because you're most definitely not channeling an Australian it-girl. But get it right, and you're sexy, sparkly and hilarious. Wear with anything that resembles those 3" Kickers you had at school, smoke stolen menthols and run amok. It's fucking February, consider this therapy.’
Sequin dress, £40, ASOS; Embellished dress, £240, Versus; Dress with diamante, £39.99, Zara; Crochet dress, £35, River Island; Asymmetric dress, £69.00, Mango
Pictures: Jason Lloyd-Evans
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.