The fashion industry is such a weird (read: weird) and wonderful world. From Victoria's Secret $10 million Fantasy bra, to Versace's £5 million diamond cobweb dress (ICYMI it was worn by Samantha Mumba at The Spiderman 2 premiere in 2004) to Tamara Mellon's curious but none-the-less fascinating leather trouser-cum-boot hybrid (troot?) that retailed last season for £1,295, we thought things couldn't get any weirder.
But then the world of premium denim had some sort of aneurysm and spewed out a new style of jeans that have been specially distressed by tigers. Yes - the humble cheese grater (great for knee rips, FYI) is no longer du jour. Now, according to Japanese brand Zoo Jeans - we see what they're doing there and we salute them for their blatant punnage - you can get jeans munched by lions, tigers and bears for that much sought after 'animalistic trouser' vibe.
'These are the only jeans on earth' the brand claims 'designed by dangerous animals.' If we were being pedantic, we'd argue that the tigers don't exactly design the jeans. They don't run their claws camply through swatches of fabric. Rather they are thrown a big rubber tyre covered in about 5 pairs of jeans, like a denim donut, into their enclosures at Hatachi's Makine zoo. Which they then nibble - creating random shreds and gigantic rips - for a little bit.
The difference with Zoo Jeans and other premium denim brands, however, is that the brand is run by a volunteer group of local residents called Mineko Club who are trying to revive Makine zoo. And the jeans, which are called L1 (distressed by lions), B1 (bears) and T1 (tigers) are being auctioned off to raise money for the zoo. At current time of writing, the T1 jeans were the most popular on auction platform Buyee, with 15 bids and a current price of £696.31.
With the distressed denim trend at an all-time high (pristine indigo jeans? No thanks) this seems like a novel way for denim purveyors to make a fast buck. But, as Mithun Ramanandi, men's denim buyer at Selfridges told The Guardian, where people want their rips is very specific. 'The rips [from the animals] are too sporadic. Men want them on the thigh, the knee, the back pocket. Rips on the calf, as they are here, don't look natural.' Same goes for us girls. We want rips across the knees; perhaps a bit of shredding on the upper thigh. But a nibbled ankle? A random tear across your ass cheeks? No thanks.
Whilst Zoo Jeans could initially seem a bit batshit crazy, it's a temporary solution to raise funds, rather than Frame/J Brand et al's new competition. And we do* really* love The Lion King. So if you have a spare thou and you like rag-a-tag clothing - get bidding.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.