Our New York Fashion Week Newbie On What It’s Really Like

First things first - everything is bigger in America, including security teams which are as super-sized as the french fries. Trying to get a celebrity front row Instagram at NYFW is an extreme sport. They don't just guard stars' persons, they also guard their seats before they arrive.

But the biggest security guards of all are Kylie Jenner's. Like Jessica Alba, I nearly got flattened by her security squad. But my sorry-you-got-crushed flowers are still waiting in transit…

If a Kardashian-Jenner-West is involved in the show you are going to be sat waiting, and waiting, and waiting. But it gives you time to work through the Instagram backlog.

Speaking of lateness, "sorry, was stuck in traffic" is the most used phrase of the week. The only plus is cabs have iPhone chargers in the back.

New York traffic only stops for street style. Hundreds of photographers (we're not exaggerating here) surround show venues, jumping over cars to get to a street style star. Props to the confused New Yorkers who get papped in the crossfire. There's got to be a Tumblr for accidental street style stars?

People are polite when they ask you to move. "Thank you" in American translates as "get out of the way" in English.

The front row is seriously A List. You might be in the lift with Kim Kardashian and walk in the loo after Julia Roberts. It's sadly not acceptable to screech - you have to turn to WhatsApp for all fan-girling.

You see Bill Cunningham ALL THE TIME. The 86-year-old photographer stands outside most major shows - meaning he is the most Instagrammed person at fashion week. Oh and he's just as delightful as you'd think - I got the most sincere thank you of the week when he asked to borrow my magazine.

Any show where there's a chance Taylor Swift might show up (aka Oscar de la Renta) is like an all-are-welcome sample sale in Chanel.

You see characters from The Hills and The City IRL, such as Amy Astley and Kelly Cutrone. Making the whole thing feel even more like a Lauren Conrad goes to Paris moment.

The New York Fashion Week diet isn't just black coffee and celery sticks- backstage at Victoria Beckham there were trays and trays of carbs and at the Givenchy after show party there was an ice cream truck serving actual ice cream.

It's acceptable to talk to yourself in the street, thanks to Periscope.

You are at constant risk of appearing in the back of street style pictures or being live-streamed somewhere. I was chased down the street to sign a release form for a reality TV show.

When you think you've left it all behind, the plane home is like an episode of Next Top Model.