While North Korea hunkered down and refined its atom bomb formula, Milan Fashion Week came to a close. Though the two aren’t in any way related it’s just a mere glimpse into the variety of ridiculous events that stole headline space over the last seven days. Try as I might its impossible to take a silly thing like fashion with the weight and gravitas it wants when a rocket man is on the verge of enacting total world destruction. Just keep that tidbit in your back pocket while you enjoy five seriously off-the-scale bonkers things that happened at Italy’s chicest happening...
1. Dolce & Gabbana’s UV Protection Eyewear
I’m all for protecting your visitor from the sun’s harmful rays, but how Dolce & Gabbana is proposing, we do it is just plain ludicrous. Between the walking billboard design and the creepy plastic hands, I put my hands up and say, Brenda, I just don’t know what fashion is anymore!
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2. Moschino’s Flower Girls
When does kitsch crossover into chintzy? Now, that’s the question I’d like to ask Jeremey Scott who made Gigi Hadid walk the runway dressed as a bunch of flowers for his Moschino show. Yes, I get the, 'Florals for spring? Groundbreaking' reference, but I’m still not buying this ludicrous femme floral collection. However, it make a brilliant Halloween costume.
3. Versace’s Fake Supermodel
While the world clapped and cooed at Donatella Versace curating a supermodel reunion, I was left scratching my head. Let me explain why: The brand’s original supermodel line-up happened in 1991 when the late designer, Gianni, sent Linda Evangelista, Christy Turlington, Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell down the runway lip-syncing to George Michael’s Faith. For whatever reason, Donatella failed to reunite the whole gang, instead subbing in Carla Bruni, Helena Christensen and Claudia Schiffer to replace Linda and Christy. Hope it wasn’t a snub!
4. Tod’s Going Out Tops
Old school Italian glamour may have been what Tod’s was aiming for, but what it amounted to was Kendall Jenner wearing a ‘going-out top’. For those uninitiated amongst us, in the early 2000s ladies of all ages, creeds and interests had one weapon in their wardrobe’s arsenal that could take their jeans from daytime slobbery to going out-out appropriate. Though they came in many guises a favourite among many was a silken handkerchief tied in a halterneck. Sound familiar, Tod’s?
5. Gucci’s Test To See If Editors Eat Carrots
Image courtesy of Susie Bubble
Some might say Gucci took it’s mystical themed show a little too far. Those ‘some’ would be the editors that didn’t eat enough carrots in advance. For, Gucci chose to present their collection under a cloak of lilac dusk with the smoke machine on full blast. Oceana flashbacks, for sure!
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.