As soon as New York Fashion Week finishes, London gets underway. Currently, top billing is torn between Burberry with Riccardo Tisci newly installed as chief creative officer and Victoria Beckham as she embarks on her first show on home turf. But beyond Burberry and Beckham, the next five days are set to be busy. Alexa Chung has her first runway show, Louise Gray is staging a comeback and all eyes will be on Mary Katrantzou who is celebrating a decade in business.
Last fashion week I walked 76,763 steps, I drank so many Pret espresso’s they sent me a gift card (true story) and watched nearly 50 shows. I expect the same from this season, but here are the thoughts I wasn’t expecting to have…
- Richard Malone is making your corner shop's beaded door into a homewear must-have
2. I though I could resist but now I've seen several women wearing that yellow snakeskin Topshop trench coat, I'm not sure I can.
3. How do I get a glossy red vinyl lip, like the models at Ryan Lo?
4. Honest question, can I pull off a witches hat. Seriously, Ryan Lo's modern day coven has got me thinking…
- Ok, so I know Kim Kardashian has been campaigning for a pedal pusher comeback, but Marta Jakubowski's abbreviated suit is making a stronger case.
6.One word: fluoro. Mental note: check Zara to see if they have any cheap neon sweaters.
7. The man who brought his teddy bear along to experience the Front Row is my fashion week hero.
8. Officially peak blazer. There's more people wearing a suit at London Fashion Week than Westminster.
- So that #justwokeuplikethis face at ALEXACHUNG is actually the work of a Suqqu facial and a cream highlighter. Meaning: even the most beautiful models need to fake that hyper-real but naked-looking skin.
10. Booking a safari, if only for an excuse to wear ALEXACHUNG's suit.
11. I have no idea what the new Anya Hindmarch bags look like but I now know lying on the world's largest bean bag and listening to the shipping forecast makes me very sleepy #chubbyclouds.
12. Is it possible for trainers to give you blisters?
- So cabbages are the new handbags, at least that was the case at Molly Goddard.
14. Between shows eBaying slim-cut cardigans, like those at Molly G.
15. Tell me, are five espressos too many for one person to drink before 5pm?
16. Pandora Sykes is making a convincing case for cowboy boots.
- House of Holland confirms, neon still relevant next spring. Good thing I've already invested in a lime Zara sweater.
18. Nothing in my outfit is working, except my Coco and Eve hair mask this morning. Mmmmh it smells good.
19. Finally have justification for all my hoarding. I can now call it 'collecting' according to Mary Katrantzou who was inspired by collections of shells, stamps and jewellery.
20. Because of Julien MacDonald I now know Laura and Caz from Love Island are the same height as me.
- Actually cried at the end of VB show. V. surprised how emotional I got while watching it on Instagram!
22. The pearlescent tea at Preen was so pretty (just like the clothes)!
23. Anyone got a portable phone charger? I've been living like with wrong kind of 1 per cent.
24. Where do you buy all black patent cowboy boots?
- Roland Mouret knows how to cut a suit that flatters the curves of a woman. Round of applause, please.
26. If it wasn't for my Coco & Eve taxi I actually think I would miss every show.
27. Every time I go to a Margaret Howell show I want everything. I want to be that woman. But, then I remember I have a floorobe at home and a tendency to spill coffee down myself and that the Margaret Howell woman never has or does either.
28. Wow. Wow. Wow. The insisted of the Royal Institute of Architects is so beautiful (of course). The best thing about fashion week isn't the clothes or the cocktails but seeing inside these incredible locations.
- Giving up SPF and becoming a Simone Rocha girl next spring.
30. If only hackers really wore Nicholas Kirkwood shoes.
31. Finishing the day with sex-positive Shish was so uplifting. Pass the sequin thong!
32. Ahh bed…my long lost friend.
- Oh Roksanda, those ball gowns! Who wants to invite to a party?
34. Heels and Hyde Park are not friends.
35. I keep wondering why my skin has gone from clear to catastrophic then remembering that I've spent the last week on three days living on a diet of porridge and Jelly Beans.
36. It may be months away, but the Aspinall x Giles Deacon collab is getting me excited for Christmas!
- I want to be an Erdem beekeeper next spring.
38. Emilia Wickstead's pink and green = most delicious color combination
39. I think my bloodstream might be 70 per cent Pret espresso right now
40. The most impressive thing about LFW isn't the clothes, but the venues - it's like Open House weekend but with better dressed attendees.
- If leopard is the newest neutral, then blazers are the newest jumper. Seen everywhere. Worn with everything (inc. ball gowns, jeans and matching mini skirts).
42. Once again, want to be the part of the #Toga crew. Just need to get a directional hair cut first.
43. Just finished Bill Cunningham's biography. It's so charming and the only thing I want to talk about.
44. So many babies on the frow! How are they so young but already getting a better seat than me?
- Anyone else think Riccardo Tisci's first Burberry collection is picking up the chic minimalist mantel where Phoebe Philo for Celine left off?
46. I'm not crying, you're crying. Actually, no Riccardo Tisci's mum is crying at the end of his first Burberry show.
47. Lost an earring, hope everyone thinks this asymmetric jewellery was on purpose.