Christmas parties are a giant, massive minefield. From the almost inevitable reality that you will get drunk and fall down, to the fact that you’ve probably got work the next day to struggle through, they’re almost not worth the trouble of the free drinks.
Almost.
Here are a few fashion minefields you’ve almost certainly experienced.
1. You’ve brought nothing to change into
At your last place of work, everyone just left the office wearing whatever they had on that day. Sure, some of the girls took time to shed their Karen Millen blazer for a sparkly bolero, but mostly, people just stayed as they were.
So how were you supposed to know that, come 4pm, all your colleagues would shuffle off to the loos (chaps included) and spend an hour or so changing, preening and primping before emerging for a night on the town looking like a steadily moving blob of sequins and metallics?
You, on the other hand, are stuck in your stuffy workwear, like a kid whose mum forgot it was ‘wear your own clothes to school’ day. No-one wants to be that kid.
2. You’ve gone down the ‘joke’ route
We’ve warned you previously about novelty Christmas wear (tldr: don’t buy it, it’s a waste of space and almost never looks good), but that hasn’t stopped many a guy we’ve seen from pulling on his ‘jingle balls’ jumper and heading off to the Christmas Party.
Sure, people might laugh at first but, after you thrust your joke jumper in your colleague’s face for the third time, it’ll start to wear thin. The joke. Not the jumper.
See also: reindeer headbands and Santa hats
3. You’ve forgotten about your Christmas cracker crown
These things are the scourge of Christmas. Wearing a paper crown in the restaurant while you’re all together is one thing, but heading out into the wider world where there’s other people to be seen and talked to is another thing altogether.
The trouble is, the crowns are so damn light, they’re super easy to forget about and, it’s not until you have a confusingly unsuccessful chat with a dishy bartender from Colombia that you catch sight of your head in the mirror, adorned in all its glory with a giant blue paper crown. Thanks, crackers.
4. You’ve spent loads of money
It’s one night. One night where most of your colleagues are going to be so battered they’ll struggle to remember that they even talked to you the previous night, let alone what you were wearing. Protip: save your money for presents for people you actually like rather than on a dress that everyone will forget.
5. You’ve worn white, grey or beige
Christmas parties are notoriously messy. Whether it’s you doing the aforementioned getting drunk and falling down or whether it’s Gary from accounts delightfully covering your dress in Nandos hot sauce as he tries to hug you on the dancefloor, Christmas party outfits are made to be ruined. Stick to black, or lose a favourite outfit.
You might also be interested in:
These Professions Are Most Likely To Have Sex At Their Work Christmas Parties
The Most Embarrassing Work Christmas Party Stories We Could Get Our Hands On
Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.