My affinity for a jumpsuit, otherwise known as the acceptable-to-wear-on-the-streets onesie, knows no bounds. So few bounds, in fact, that I have taken it upon myself to ‘road test’ some of the best out there. A dizzying array of fabrics and shades of pink (who knew there were so many) graced my bod in a bid to bring you a definitive list of the jazziest ‘suits available right now. Right this very second. Waiting patiently. Ready to be added to your basket. Well, what on earth are you waiting for?!
Power To The Flower
*ASOS, Tea Jumpsuit in Floral Print, £48; *ASOS, Hollywood Embellished Platform Sandals, £50
Is it a dress? Is it a jumpsuit? You’re right with the second one. It’s a jumpsuit. I’m not entirely sure what benefits a jumpsuit parading as a dress holds other than the ability to sprint, unencumbered by skirts and unconcerned with the possibility that you might flash the motley crew aboard the night bus, towards the kebab shop when you finally break free from the club. Because, let’s face it, the entire point of your night out is the nugget binge that ensues afterwards. So, if 100metre sprints towards Macca’s is your jam (or, more aptly, your nugget), this jumpsuit is the one for you, my fast food fiend of a friend.
Coming Down With A Disco Fever
*Boohoo, Petite Sophia Open Side Tie Waist Jumpsuit, £12**; *ASOS, Hollywood Embellished Platform Sandals, £50
I feel like this kind of jumpsuit should come with its own glam squad. Can we make that a thing, please? The eagle-eyed among you will notice the waist-belt masterfully (and unintentionally) shields my vag from view, which is an absolute gift from the Gods if ever there were one considering this all-in-one is a bit short in the bod #ifyaknowwhatImean. Follow in my stretch jersey-clad leg-steps and team yours with platforms as tall as you are.
Ruffle Some Feathers
*ASOS, Jumpsuit with One Shoulder and Ruched Sleeve, £45; *Topshop, ROA Fur Mules, £49
This is the closest to truly angelic that I will ever look. Make like Aaliyah and spend your day swishing back, back and forth, forth in this devastatingly cute ‘suit, as you become entranced by the gentle swaying ruffles and pink Lava Lamp-esque glow you’re shrouded in. That is, until you realise that it’s only 10pm, and everyone left the beer garden hours ago. The bar staff are approaching you with concern plastered over their faces. You are unbothered. You have no time to care! You have SWISHING to do!
101 In How To Steal The Spotlight
ASOS, Jumpsuit in Crinkle with Wide Leg and Halter Neck in Floral Print, £48
Thoughts on bridesmaid dress shopping? Pretty traumatic, right? Bypass the agg and send your bride-to-be bezzie this dynamite jumpsuit. It’s pastel green – a firm favourite of brides everywhere, it seems – and undeniably photo-friendly and, I suspect, looks slammin’ on all body shapes. Failing that, wear this to that fancy garden party you’re attending this summer. Double takes all round, bay-beh!
Bad Girl Lace
There are a lot of things to say about this get-up (the shoes, for one) but let’s zone in on the best, shall we? This jumpsuit, straight outta heaven – by heaven I mean the New In section of Topshop (side note: if heaven is anything like the New In section of Toppers then BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!) – is, essentially, your summer saviour. There’s not a lot more I can say about it. While I don’t generally advocate a devil-may-care attitude towards hair bleaching (that. shit. is. damaging), I am fully into the concept of matching your tresses to your dresses. Just saying.
The 9am-to-9pm Number
Picture this: it’s Friday morning, and you are, begrudgingly, packing your bag for work (why you pack so much stuff, you’ll never know as all you really need in this life of sin is you and your lip balm) while mentally debating what to wear for post-work drinks. Cue heavy sigh. This arduous task is a lot to mount upon a pre-9AM mind, right? Right. Cut out the clothing dilemma and chuck this pretty little thing in your backpack. Easily jazzed up and just as easily dressed down, you have the snazzy contrast straps to thank for this jumpsuits ability to parade as PM-appropriate. Now off you trot! You’re going to be late for work!
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.