Every September, whether you’ve left school or university or not, feels like a fresh start, a time for a new you to reinvent yourself. The stores are full of brand new and exciting clothes, you’ve finally paid back that ill-fated holiday you went on back in June, and you’re purchasing clothes like a mad-woman.
Is this going to be your season to go peasant-chic? Or perhaps you’re keen on an andogynous cropped trousers kind of thing? Either way, getting yourself a whole new look is tricky. It requires commitment and is very rarely achieved. Here’s why.
Because... money
When Miley Cyrus decided to change her look and set all of her previous wardrobe of jeans-and-T-shirts alight, dancing around them wearing nothing but cannabis leaves over her nipples and vagina, she didn’t have to worry about what she was going to wear next. She had $160 million with which to purchase herself a whole new wardrobe (although let’s face it, how much can a couple of nipple tassles and a string bikini cost?) – so when the old long-haired all-American Miley was gone, she was gone for good.
Unfortunately, you don’t have that luxury. Because unless you too are a member of America’s richest country rock family (adopt us?), then you’re going to struggle to purchase enough outfits to keep your new look going strong. And, unless you’ve got the fastest washing machine in the west, you’re eventually going to have to resort to wearing your ‘old’ stuff. Which won’t be conducive to the ‘new’ you.
Because... friends
Whether your new look involves a fancy haircut or wearing something a little bit ‘out there’, it’ll take a fair amount of bigging yourself up in the mirror Bruce Willis-style to convince yourself that yes, you look cool, and no, no-one’s going to be a dick about The New You.
Shame then that three seconds after arriving at the pub your mate Bernie (he’s not called Bernie, no-one’s called Bernie) yells, ‘Nice hair, dickhead!’ Everybody laughs (including you, once you’ve forced it out) before you retreat to the bathroom, holding back the tears and attempt to restore as much of your original hair shape as you can without anyone noticing.
Because... practicality
If you’ve gone for sass-tastic sass-quatch ‘professional lady’ as your new look, there’s going to come a time when you’re required to do a country walk; something that doesn’t take kindly to heels.
Similarly, if you’ve gone down the streetwear avenue, you’ll find it a tough sell explaining to your mum why you need to wear trainers to your cousin Meredith’s baby’s christening the following week. We’re guessing the ‘trainers are actually smart now’ thing won't go down all that well with Granny.
GOD WHY DOES NO-ONE UNDERSTAND YOU.
Because... laziness
Cultivating a ‘look’ takes time, effort and money and, let’s face it, some days you’re a hungover mess who can’t be arsed creating sartorial artwork from your wardrobe before 8 o'’clock in the morning.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.