The ‘Between Your Flat And Your Boyfriend’s Flat’ Kit

Never again look like a trouser-wearing hedge when you emerge from your boyfriend's flat in the morning.

The 'Between Your Flat And Your Boyfriend's Flat' Kit

by Stevie Martin |
Published on

The woes of having to live between your flat, your boyfriend’s flat, work, gym and anywhere else you fancy going have been well (and hilariously) documented on The Debrief. But what should you actually keep in your desk drawer to ensure you’re not caught out next time you turn up drunk at 1am to your boyfriend’s with no pants for the next day? Says the girl currently wearing men’s boxers, smelling of Lynx (yes, Lynx) and half her face falling off because she used a fragranced body moisturiser extracted from a three-year-old gift set to remove her make-up the previous night. Oh, boys.

I’m really bad at balancing all these things, but have started making sure I've got certain things in certain places to minimise the pain of emerging from his flat resembling a trouser-wearing hedge.

Pants

Put them everywhere, so you don’t have to carry them in a bag with you. Put them in your car. Put them in your desk drawer. Put some in his flat. Pants, pants everywhere as far as the eye can see. Then you’ll use up all the well-placed pants and end up, a few weeks later, with six pairs of dirty underwear in your handbag and no clean ones anywhere.

Thus, the cycle of pant-placement begins once again. I live in fear of being in a meeting, reaching into my bag for a pen and throwing dirty pants at an important investor (this will never happen thankfully, because I’m never allowed into meetings with investors).

Moisturiser

Guys don’t have moisturiser. Alright, a lot of guys don’t have moisturiser. Alright, my boyfriend doesn’t own moisturiser (he says it makes his face feel wet) – so get a really cheap pot of Nivea or Astral or something else all-purpose and you can use it to both remove make-up and moisturise.

Remember you grandma taking her make-up off the ‘cold cream and tissue’ way? It works. If you have dodgy skin, or can’t fathom the cold cream method, then decant your cleanser into something (a bottle, a bag, a dog, whatever you can) and store it at his.

Nothing makes you feel worse than sitting at your desk wearing last night’s make-up. Apart from, perhaps, putting make-up on over the top of last night’s make-up to disguise the fact that it’s last night’s make-up.

Make-up

If you’re blessed with cosmetics coming out of your ears, then by all means have a duplicate make-up bag. If you don’t throw anything away ever, then put together a Dregs Of The World make-up bag like me – it includes foundation from 2008 and a mascara given to me by an auntie I don’t really see very much. It’s pink and from Claire’s accessories. If you don’t need make-up to look normal, then I’m really glad for you.

Clothing

I try and have a small bag of clothes at work with me. There’s a dress in there that can be worn to nice occasions. There’s a black pair of leggings that go with anything. There’s also a jumper.

I feel like everything the world could throw at me is covered by these three innocuous items of clothing – which explains why last week I turned up to a Tiffany party, just behind Poppy Delevingne, wearing a pair of leggings, a jumper and my hair tied up with a sock. I was also wearing one sock on my left foot. You can see where I got my hair inspiration from (my right foot, for anyone not following).

Have actual clothes in your drawer because this could happen to you.

Deodorant and bodywash

Alright, so this is actually crucial because sometimes you might need to spruce up in the work loos. Plus, deodorant isn’t that expensive, so buy an extra bottle and keep it where you’re most likely to go, ‘Oh shit, I don’t have any deodorant on’. Unless you like smelling of Lynx Africa.

Maybe your boyfriend wears proper, normal, grown-up deodorant. Or women’s deodorant. Congratulations, I hope you’re really happy.

Phone chargers

Because you’re going to forget yours or leave it somewhere, aren’t you, so keep one at yours, one at his and one at work. I mean, that’s so simple even I’ve managed to nail it (although, granted, today I’ve left my entire phone at home).

Like this? You might also be interested in...

Things To Buy If You’re Struggling To Live Between Your House And Your Boyfriend’s

The Endless Problems Of Living Between Home And Your Boyfriend’s

Can You Be Friends With A Guy Who’s A Dick To Women?

Follow Stevie on Twitter: @5tevieM

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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