Flashback Friday To Paris Hilton’s Unbelievably Awful/Amazing Pre-Juicy Couture Outfits

Think you remember how bad the early early noughties were for fashion? Oh sweet child. You have *no* idea.

Flashback Friday To Paris Hilton's Almost Unbelievably Awful Pre-Juicy Couture Outfits

by Jess Commons |
Published on

I think possibly because of our age, the early early noughties as a chapter in fashion history have been erased from our minds, blocked out by the mid-noughties when it was all Juicy Couture tracksuits and Von Dutch trucker caps.

You think 2006 was bad though? Oh no. Oh no, no, no. See, the _early noughties, which were when you personally were either too young to care about fashion or you were saving all of your 20p a week pocket money to purchase a T_oy Story 2 pencil case, were actually a much worse time.

No-one is better at illustrating this point than Paris Hilton. Paris was 20 and 21 in the early 2000s. Just young enough to have that kind of sartorial confidence that comes with being young and beautiful and just rich enough to indulge every single one of her aesthetic fantasies. Looking back at the results is spectacular. Paris captures a stretch of two years in a perfect time capsule. A capsule that our future alien conquerers will take one look at and retreat in fear because they'll have realised that we are all certifiably insane and ergo should have absolutely nothing to do with us.

Paris saves the day again.

Vote for Paris.

**

Let's take a look at what Paris wore pre-Juicy Couture shall we?

The All American

The best part about this outfit isn't the leather baker boy cap, nor the one shouldered top. It's not even the lace-up jeans that would test even the most talented of Brazillian waxers. No. It's that she wore it to a party celebrating Craig David's American launch. Now, sixteen years later, both Craig and Paris are doing swimmingly. Which is nice.

Paris-Hilton-1

The Very Berry

There is A LOT going on here. Winged sleeves, food emoticons, stripes, evil eyes, hoops and those teeny tiny bags that were just big enough to fit a Sidekick phone and a Juicy Tube in. It's an outstanding attempt at dressing. Wildly off the mark in terms of success, but an outstanding attempt all the same.

Skater Cinderella

Another beyond spectacular amalgamation of trends. Here, Paris is covering several bases for her evening's activities; skiing, a Flashdance tribute party, a shoddy-yet-enjoyable school production of *The Princess Diaries *and Spring Break '01 WOO WOO. Like a Boy Scout, Paris is never knowingly underprepared.

The Revenant

What does a rendition of Hugh Glass's epic trek through the Dakotas look like if you transport it to 2001 Hollywood and let Paris Hilton play the main part? This. A thousand times this. If you'd stuck with Paris you'd have seen her too bite into a raw fish. Just like Leo. Except in Paris' case it was sushi.

The Cyber Punk

This is what happened when Bono went punk. Paris clearly liked these arm warmers. Maybe she had cold wrists.

The Courtney Love

U ok hun? Fingers crossed this was fancy dress or omg who knows what went on here. That Barbie backpack is the shit though. Would totally still wear one of those.

The Heidi Range

The red eyeshadow, the quiff to end all quiffs, the khaki trousers. Oh my. All of which have nothing on the diamante starred thong designed to poke over the top of the pants. A true triumph.

Like this? Then you might also be interested in:

Flashback Friday To Girls' Aloud's Truly Terrible Early Noughties Wardrobes

Flashback Friday To When Cheryl Cole Tackled Streetwear And Lost

Flashback Friday To When Kim Kardashian Dressed Like You At The Year 11 Disco

Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

Just so you know, whilst we may receive a commission or other compensation from the links on this website, we never allow this to influence product selections - read why you should trust us