*Or at least get on board with the tricky trend that is headwear.
'Ok first of all I should probably come clean, I'm not actually a fascinator. I just said that because nobody ever pays me any attention otherwise. The thing is, you may not be fully aware of this, but headwear has moved on since the fascinator. It's taken a modern, refreshing turn. It's got "all grown up". Forget the gratuitous ostrich feather trim that anyone who thinks they're royal wouldn't be seen dead without, I'm all about muted colours, soft fabrics and tiara-inspired shapes.
Think of me as the Priyus of hair accessories: a hybrid of clip, hairband and hat, which is totally safe for work while being (I don't want to lose you here but I'm just being honest) absolutely Ascot appropriate too. Stop running and screaming already, live a little.
It's time you stopped assuming anything that isn't natural beachy bed-hair is going to make you look like a Tim Burton extra or the wrong end of a Tim Walker editorial. Imagine how easy life would be if you could wake up with that hair which is flat on one side and curly on the other (don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about) and plonk something on top of it which wouldn't scream BAD HAIR DAY, but would actually make you look great. Well take my hand, let's start this journey together. Ready?'
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Double knot headgear, £10, Topshop; 2. Head-clip, works out to be about £90, CA4LA.com; 3. Crown, £325, Phoebe English; 4. Cat ears, £445, Mason Michel
Or just try wrapping this around your head. Should work tbh.
Follow Bertie on Twitter @BertieBrandes
Pictures: Jason Lloyd-Evans
This article originally appeared on The Debrief.