All The Jewellery You Bought From Claire’s Accessories Back In The Day

Whoever invented the watch ring wasn't really thinking were they?

All The Jewellery You Bought Back In The Day

by Jess Commons |
Updated on

Because you were once young, and without cash worries, it was perfectly acceptable to spend your meagre amounts of pocket money on tat from local high street shops and markets. Now you’re old, and have money worries, you spend your cash on more expensive things. Because you’re an idiot. But enough about that. Here’s a few things you probably bought back in the day.


All The Jewellery You Bought From Claire's Accessories

A hole in your ear1 of 5

A hole in your ear

There's few rites of passages as seminal as going to Claire's to get your ears pierced after a year-long fight with Mum about how Sarah Jenkins at school already has her done and no that doesn't mean her mother doesn't care about her. In the end, it was that time you tried to do a Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap and pierce them yourself using an ice cube (sensible) and an apple (wtf) and your mum's knitting needle (very, very stupid) that finally convinced her.And so it was that your version of passing from girlhood to womanhood all came down to a few seconds of you perching on a ripped leather stool, clutching a teddy bear while a teenager drew a purple felt tip dot on your ear before pointing a gun at it. Six weeks later, when you were still bathing your crusty ears nightly in the Claire's-approved ear solution, you were struggling to remember what the big deal was.

Jewellery with logos you only kind of understood2 of 5

Jewellery with logos you only kind of understood

Remember the yin yangs? And the peace signs? And the smiley faces? You had them on chokers, belts, bracelets and rings, touting them as proudly as if you were a frat boy wearing a kappa beta pi (or whatever) cap to a keg party. But, just out of interest, how much did you know about the CND nuclear disarmament movement that spawned the peace sign? How about Chinese Taoism?Fun fact for the smiley face wearers out there: the guy who invented it forgot to trademark it. He got paid $45 for his work. Some other guy trademarked it instead, and his company now makes over $100 million a year. Still smiling, smiley?

Hair jewels3 of 5

Hair jewels

See also: the fastest way to look like you had either bugs and/or dandruff in your hair. A disaster. Especially when teamed with that glitter hair mascara you got free with Sugar.

A ring with a watch on it4 of 5

A ring with a watch on it

The concept of a basic wristwatch has been covered pretty much since the mid-1500s but for some reason in the early 1990s, jewellery designers took it upon themselves to reinvent the whole thing, shrink it down and make watches for your fingers. Watches for your fingers. WATCHES FOR YOUR FINGERS.Not only was wearing a lump of metal and machinery on your eight-year-old finger a burden, but consdering how quickly it cut off your circulation, you never wore it for more than three minutes in a row. £3.50 well spent that.

u2018Karma’ beads5 of 5

‘Karma’ beads

You were robbed. Turns out wearing pink glass beads on a stretchy cord round your wrist day in, day out wouldn't get Henry Robins to ask you to the Year 7 disco. Who knew. See also the black beaded bracelet that was meant to protect you against 'negative energies'. Could have done with some negative energy blocking that time Sarah McSherin threw a hot dog at you in the cafeteria. Instead, they called you 'ketchup girl' for weeks.

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Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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