Friday
10.07am A not-too-early start for the launch of fashion week in its new car park home on Brewer street, nestled amongst the sex shops. I drink some weak coffee and eat a tiny avocado and chilli crostini while the Hix pop-up gets ready for service. The minute it is, I have a flat white and a miniature chocolate muffin, about the shape and size of my thumb as it’s gone a bit squiffy in the oven - always good to root for the underdog – or in this case, the undermuffin. Neck my flat white as the first show is about to start, and I can’t take it in with me.
1.02pm Back to to the office to get some work done in between shows. I drink a vitacoco and eat some pop chips (the unofficial diet of LFW) as there’s no time for lunch.
5.33pm First stop tonight and a glass of champagne at the Sonia Rykiel store party.
6.48pm Whiskey and ginger beer at our second stop of the night, the 100 club on oxford street for Le Kilt – they make kilts, and are great.
7.41pm Camilla Elphick’s pop-up, back in soho. Drink two glasses of champagne before being alterted to the existence of a coconut water based cocktail with only 100 calories. Drink one of those, of course, and then a few more champagnes.
10.36pm An uninvited guest arrives with a parrot, who knocks over the shoe displays – cue to leave. Tube then overground home, to a bowl of pesto gnocchi and more coconut water.
Saturday
7.37am Slightly regretting the champagnes on day 1. May have peaked too soon. Drown my sorrows with a glass of semi skimmed milk.
9.23am Wonderful driver (yes, I know) Neil has parked next to Pret. The man’s a genius. Carrot juice, croissant, more coconut water.
12.16pm Propercorn being handed out on the way in to the Sibling show, winning. Sweet and salt, obviously.
2.31pm Stop over at Caravan in Kings Cross to write up show reviews and catch up with my best mate and fellow journalist. I have a flat white and this cornbread thing with fried eggs and some kind of pickled salsa. Full and happy, off to coo over the pink carpet at Emilia Wickstead.
4.34pm A quick cup of tea and eton mess (sure) before 1205. Sugar headache.
5.21pm Am out of sync with my colleagues. Go to Polpo with them even though I’m full, and eat a salt cod croquette and some stuffed olives out of solidarity. Oh, and an aperol spritz.
11.09pm Pea and mint soup on my sofa. Just to be clear – the soup wasn’t on the sofa, I was. Glass of milk before bed.
Sunday
11.07am Neil finds another Pret. Porridge with honey, flat white.
2.04pm Thank you, Topshop Unique. Finger sandwiches, a beetroot and goats cheese salad, half a mini quiche, water of the non-coconut variety.
8.39pm Cheese and meat board at Verden, back home in east london with my interior designer (also my boyfriend, but I prefer to lead with this).
Monday
9.41am Skinny americano in the office, trying to pull ahead on some work.
11.49am Cinnamon buns from the Nordic Bakery at Peter Jensen. Enormous, eat it all.
3.24pm We seek comfort in the fine establishment that is Pizza Express. Melanzane Al Forno and a diet coke.
6.23pm Hello, popchips. Get in my mouth.
9.41pm Weary trek home from Waterloo after Joseph to find that the interior designer is baking a pair of whole seabass. I eat Ben & Jerry’s chocolate Fudge Brownie out of the tub and watch him cook.
Tuesday
9.04am Drink the tiny water under my seat at Ashley Williams.
1.52pm Everything is running late. Risk a trip to Gail’s - flat white and a lentil, beetroot and goats cheese salad.
7.14pm Home again. Whack a pizza in the oven - two days past expiry date, but they’re quite conservative with those, right? Eat the crust, am suspicious. Throw pizza away, open a bottle of Malbec.
And that’s where I leave you, dear reader. Five days older, four pounds heavier, and starting to resemble a coconut around the eyes. See you in February...
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.