It's a Big Day. Your mum's packed a picnic, your dad's fine-tuned the sat nav; your bedroom has officially been packed up. It feels weird, right? Well not as weird as you're going to feel in the pub two days into Fresher's Week, rocking a babydoll smock against everyone's better judgement.
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I'm being cruel to be kind, my friend, because quite frankly, you're going to have enough to worry about during FW – whether or not you should snog on your first night; if the girl across the corridor is your new BFF or your freaky deaky new enemy because it's kind of hard to tell as of yet – without having to wonder if you've packed the world's worst outfits.
And if you're not a fresher and left university oooooh (insert number of) years ago then never fear. Because as far as we're aware you're still probably going to go to the pub/the dinner/a hangover, too (and if you're a fresher reading this? Sadly those only get SO MUCH WORSE WITH AGE.)
The arrival
You're in the car (where comfort is needed) and then you are out of the car (where immediate positive impact must be made). In an ultra low-key just-arrived kinda way. This will work. Oh, and positive accessories – featuring niceness and cheesy grins – will only amplify your generosity of spirit. Shrewd, huh?
Be Nice iPhone Case, £40 Marc by Marc Jacobs at Selfridges; Spongebob Clutch, £10.90 Moschino at Farfetch; Stripe Pocket Crew Top, £95 YMC; Striped Trousers, £120 Bimba Y Lola; Kooper Stud Slip Ons, £55 Topshop
Now you're off to the pub
Bag unpacked, pictures tacked to the wall, now you're off to the local boozer where a bottle of wine costs £5 and therefore you buy two.
Monochrome Vest, £15 Monki; Varsity Bomber Jacket in Navy, £85 Cooperative at Urban Outfitters; Dancing Girl Cropped Skinny Mid-Rise Jeans, £680 Ashley Williams at Selfridges (or learn how to make your own pair with our Debrief DIY!); Elite Editions 580 Trainers in Black and Yellow, £85 New Balance at Urban Outfitters
Next morning, it's time to meet your tutor
S/he could be nice, s/he could be nasty. You never know, so it's best to wear your preppiest student wear to get on their good side from the word go. If you want to become a parody of your own self, then take a shiny green apple. A well-worn cliché that may or may not freak your tutor out.
Mohair Sweater in Green, £209 Orla Kiely; Printed Skirt, £389, Preen (coming soon); Black Loafers, £46 Warehouse; Serious Notebook, £9.50 Happy Jackson at NotTheUsual.co.uk; Satchel Bag, £185 Ymc at Farfetch, apple and glasses photographer's own
Out on the tiles
Wahay! You're a bonafide student allowed to do bonafide student-y things like drink 10 shots that call themselves Blow Jobs or Vampire Sex or whatever weird-shit liquid is trying to make sound erotic that night. Try and consume just a few, keep all your clothes on, stick with your mates (even if they're shiny and brand new) and you should be OK. Wear something sexy in a low-key grungey way – a denim jacket and mules will stop you feeling trussed – in case the club segues into a sofa-bound house party. Nobody wants to be trying to make cool new mates while wriggling around dementedly in a too-small corset.
Forever Running Dress in Leopard Print, £45 Mink Pink at Urban Outfitters; Vintage Jacket from a selection at Rellik; Embroidered Lace Bralette in Pink, £24, Kimchi Blue at Urban Outfitters; Gyle Croc Front Mules, £65 Topshop; Metallic Heart Pouch in Silver, £14 Deena & Ozzy at Urban Outfitters
Oh God, the next morning
This is bad. It's really bad. You've never been this hun-gover. It was never this bad in Thailand! It was never this bad in Greece! Is this real life? Is this the end? And so on and so forth. Make sure you're super comfortable before you have all sorts of stomach-plummeting existential freak outs. Also opt for some bright colour so that even if you're feeling gloomy and overwhelmed, your outfit screams happy-seeking funtimes.
Silk Velvet Trousers, £135, Ganni; Meal in a Mug Book, £6.98 Random House; Peoneden Dolman Hoodie in Red, £185 House of Hackney; Ribbed Fur Pom Beanie in Yellow, £16 Urban Outfitters
Stylist: Grace Joel
Art Direction: Anna Jay
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.