Forget about the rest of your outfit, because we are in the midst of a major 'footwear' moment. Consider the facts. Have you talked about anything other than trainers for the last, er, year? 'Stan Smiths' almost trumps 'pink coat' for most exhaustive sartorial name-dropping. And what about Birkenstocks? You thought you'd never mention their name again but up it keeps popping. In every single fashion magazine.
Well, now there's more. So many more! And because we want to be as helpful and friendly and fit as comfortably in your brain as those New Balances on your feet, we've done a definitive GIF guide to the AW14 shoe trends you can actually wear right now - and that'll see you through to next winter, too.
The Tractor Tread Loafer
The bovver boot tractor-tread sole was an unlikely candidate for fashion supremacy, but then Stella McCartney waved her wand and produced some awesome star-strewn brogues with ginormous tractor tread soles for AW14. She wasn't the only one digging a shoe with enough 'grip' to go rock climbing; they were also seen at Acne, Viktor & Rolf, Shiatzy Chen and in smaller detail on the flatform loafers at Moncler Gamme Rouge.
Directional as ever, try Zara's Slingback Leather Track Shoe, £79.99. Plus backless shoes are a total 'thing': so appreciate the bonus points via their exposed heel.
The Multi-Buckled Flat Mary Jane
The childish impulses in Hedi Slimane's AW14 collection for Saint Laurent worked best with the shoes: Dorothy-esque glittery ankle boots and thrice-buckled Mary Jane pumps (very Alexa.) You don't have to wear them with a mini dress, either; their minimal heel will offer a cute alternative to trainers with jeans.
Try these brick red Bells Mary Jane Leather Pumps, £400, Chloe at Selfridges with black jeans and a sloppy jumpers to pare it back.
The Closed Toe Mule
You must have mules coming out of your eyeballs; there's no doubt that they are the shoe this spring (out in force at Christopher Kane AW14 and in stock at Topshop, Zara and Office.)
For something a little different, try these Wemmick Python Look Shoes, £480, Stella McCartney at Selfridges. The snake print is a lovely antidote to all the black and navy ones your friends will be sporting. Plus, the back is actually only folded down - so you can pull it up if you get chilly heels (which is what you want, really, from a pair of shoes that are this expensive.)
The Fugly Pool Slide
Like mules, the most polarising shoe of all, the pool slide, is reigning high - in white, black and metallics; in fluffy, furry and ponyskin. At Whistles, a XL faux fur lilac coat was combined with fluffy navy mules and bare legs.
For a great selection of 'muted' pool slides try Topshop, ASOS and Zara, but we're championing Nike's new range of so-naff-they're-fantastic Miami Vice pool slides. These Benassi Printed Sliders, £16 Nike at ASOS (epic in all 3 colourways) are good with leather trousers for the days when a chic black mule just isn't fun enough.
The XL Spring Time Booty
Gone are the days when 'boots' just referred to an endless supply of black ankle boots. Boooring. Knee-high patent leather black boots (H&M, Saint Laurent) featured for AW14 but it was the excellent Topshop Unique who made us rethink bootwear as a whole, with their raspberry pink, thigh-high boots.
For a break from the black, try H&M's brilliant sand-coloured suede OTK boots, £99.99, available in store.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.