FOR
**Charlie Gowans-Eglinton, Acting Fashion News & Features Editor **
So they’re a little witchy, I’ll give you that. And quite odd. Ok, very odd. But when did that last stop us? This is Fashion, folks, with a capital F, and Fashion ain’t always pretty – sometimes it’s bonkers, too.
These dehydrated-Wicked-Witch-of-The-East slippers make your feet look longer, which is not ideal for everyone, but I have a-bit-too-small feet. Not creepy small, mind you, but I’m 5’6” and a size 37, so I can look a little out of proportion, and am prone to losing my balance in yoga. I actually wear a 38 most of the time to make my feet look bigger - sounds bonkers, but I heard a rumour that Phoebe Philo (Céline’s creative director, and designer of said shoe) does the same thing. Coincidence? I think not.
The low V scooping down on the foot elongates the leg and makes the ankle seem shapelier – it’s that same rule about wearing a v-neck top to distract from a large bust that Trinny and Susannah used to bang on about. And who wouldn’t want a shapelier ankle? It’s fashion’s favourite erogenous zone, ooo err, and appeals to me a lot more than swapping my rollneck for a shoulder-baring anything. If the flat ones seem just too peculiar for you, try a less-bizarre stiletto heeled pair instead. But if you’re feeling brave, come join me in the For corner; I’ll be the one channelling the Judderman.
AGAINST
**Rebecca Lowthorpe, Fashion Director **
I'm no fan of the V Neck shoe. Specifically the Céline V Neck shoe. There, I've said it. In print. Disclaimer: Dear Phoebe Philo, this is not personal. You are the Céline Queen, creative director, pioneer and all-round redeemer of women's' fashion and I love, no, I adore, everything you do, I really do, and have the wardrobe and overdraft to prove it - but these V neck shoe-babouche-slipper things: Really? And, WHY? Why would you design a shoe so jaw-droppingly ugly?
Readers, these are not ugly in a good/ironic way, they’re just plain weird-ugly. A shoe that does everything to stumpify ankles, calves and legs and make your feet look as if they have been flattened by a steam roller? Part-medieval-part-Robin Hood, a witch’s hat of a shoe that has not a single redeeming feature. And the worst thing? THERE ARE MORE OF THEM. Because Philo's Céline is one of the top five most copied fashion labels in the universe (Vetements, Saint Laurent, Gucci and Prada being the other four) which means everyone's at it: they are now a thing, a trend. Which means you might actually BUY them. Which means we could end up as a nation of perambulating flat-footed, sycophantic-fashion-following-witch-footed-sheep. A pan-European joke. (It won't be Brexit; it'll be Fexit, as in we will be ejected from Europe because of our heinous footwear).
An international laughing stock – the French laughing loudest because they would never, ever commit such a footwear crime. It’s a nightmare. It’s sartorial suicide. So, please, I implore you: Do the right thing. Make it stop. Just say no to the V Neck shoe.
READ MORE: Best Foot Forward: The Coolest Shoe Styles For Spring