As lovely as Christmas always is, there’s no denying that it can be naff as old boots. From Christmas camp to festive flotsam it can be difficult to navigate the tide of Chris Cringle themed crap. Luckily we have put together (an admittedly prescriptive, slightly joyless and pretty pretentious fashion) a guide to holiday chic.
1. Coloured Fairy Lights
Unless you are aiming for a Grayson Perry-themed tree both coloured lights and tinsel are verboten from a chic Christmas. Call me a party pooper, but white lights and glass baubles are the only accoutrements a tree requires.
2. Drinks
Christmas cocktails are generally gloopy and sugary. As it’s a long day, ease off the spirits and go for Mimosas to start. Note A: Mimosa = Buck’s Fizz. Note B: Never call a Buck’s Fizz by its Eurovision winning name.
3. What to Wear
Wearing PJs (or, le horreur a onesie) ALL DAY is certainly not chic. However unless you are dining out, overdressing is OTT. The perfect balance to strike is chic silk or cotton pyjamas in the morning (stockings, mimosas) with a cashmere stole to keep off the chill. Then for the main event just remember tottering around your house in high heels and a stomach-constricting frock is ridiculous. Go for layers in quality fabrics, low-key, but festive jewellery (think everyday diamonds) and shearling lined slippers or boots – very at home Gwyneth Paltrow. Aka chic.
4. Cracker Hat
To wear or not wear that is the question? While it true that refusing to wear a hat makes you look like a Scrooge, if someone takes your picture while the paper millinery is attached to your head you might still be cringing come NYE. Why not bring your own (chic) headpiece to the table? Or accidently tear yours while putting it on?
5. What to Watch
Who doesn’t love a Christmas special? But sitting all holiday long disengaged from your family and friends in a Quality Street coma in front of the box isn’t just not chic, it’s also a bit sad. Pick a great drama to put in the mix with the Eastenders and turn the TV off at some point – even if that means Boxing Day to try and spend some quality time together. I suggest quizzes, board (not Monopoly – not because it isn’t chic, but because it causes rows, which aren't the most cheerful) and parlour games. Make sure you plus everything else.
6. Music List
Christmas music isn’t chic. But sometimes even I bend the rules. Just go easy on the Wizzard.
7. Gift Wrapping
If when you pick up your gifts to distribute to your loved ones your thumbs inadvertently tear the wafer thin 2 for 1 wrapping paper, you are not having a chic Christmas. It may seem like an extravagance on top of the price of a present, but truly, so much of the anticipation is about the unwrapping. If you are worried about budget try inexpensive tissue double wrapped – much chicer and also cheap.
8. Snoring
Naps are fine, but if you know you’re like a steam train when you snooze in front of Harry Potter, try not to overeat and overdrink – or at least if you do so, make sure everyone else is already in a stupor so they don’t have to deal with trying to roll you over.
9. The After-Dinner Walk
A brisk walk through a copse post-binge is a great Christmas tradition. But any form of proper exercise – think a run or say early morning yoga is a major faux pas. Making everyone else feel lazy on Christmas days is neither cool nor chic.
10.There’s No Such Thing As Chic Christmas
As I have read this list to the Grazia team the common consensus is that that Christmas is common. And any attempts to change it are both futile and ill-advised.