Fashion week: those four weeks of the year when the style set turn the streets of New York, Milan, London and Paris into a catwalk, and put on their critic hats to sort the hits from the misses on the runways. All in the name of defining what's in and what's out next season.
As you can imagine it's a pretty stressful business, and as a result, us fashion folk can let it go to our heads just a tiny bit. Running on coffee, and literally running between shows is no mean feat.
So apologies if we come out with any of these fashion girl 'problems' as a result. (Though seriously: it really is the worst when you can't get your hands on a coconut water).
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'My feet are killing me - I knew I should have worn the Chanel slingbacks rather than my Louboutins.'
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'The traffic is terrible today, I wish my driver knew more shortcuts.'
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'There's way too many slashies* on the FROW* this year. I should be in that seat!'
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'The press lounge has run out of my favourite flavour of Vitamin Water. When the F are they going to re-stock?'
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'Gigi Hadid has been in every show, I’m sick of her.'
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'Why don't they think about Instagram when they set up shows? My catwalk pics are so blurry.'
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'I still haven't found the perfect backdrop for my OOTD shot.'
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'That show just didn't match up to last season. It was way too commercial.'
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'I need a coconut water. Stat.'
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'That fashion dog is stealing all the limelight from my great outfit. I've been saving this one all week!'
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'I wore my most directional accessories today and no one has street styled me. What is with that?'
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'I couldn’t see any of that show, that b*tch in front was wearing a bucket hat.'
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'These paps keep getting in the way of my photos of celebrities on the FROW.'
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'My suede boots have been totally ruined by the rain.' OR 'I wish it would stop raining - I'll never get a chance to wear my furry Gucci loafers at this rate.'
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'Where can a girl get wifi around here? Seriously. Everyone keeps getting their FROW Instagrams up before mine.'
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'I had a much better seat at this show last year.'
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'OMG it's Alexa Chung! Can you take a photo with her in the background? But be really careful not to look like you're taking a picture of her.'
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'I’m carrying FOUR portable chargers and my phone has still run out of juice. Instagram is such a b*tch for battery life.'
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'Ouch! I bruised my arm elbowing my way through that swarm of street style photographers.'
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'Oh god, I’m wearing the same Zara skirt as that blogger. How embarassing.'
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'You'll never guess what just happened: there was a mix up with my ticket and I had to stand at the back. No: I'm serious.'
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'I really need someone to take a picture of me pretending to... [eat this burger/stare at my shoes/sit in Anna Wintour's seat].'
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'No fair! She's got the Dior perspex-heel boots on. I'm still on the waiting list.'
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'This invite is way too big for my mini clutch bag. Designers are SO inconsiderate.'
Your fashion phrase book
*If any of that fash-pack lingo is leaving you confused let us break it down:
Slashey (noun): someone who has many jobs, all with a creative element - taking selfies is probably a uniting factor.
As in: 'I'm a DJ/photographer/blogger. I just don't like to limit my creativity to one outlet.'
Major (adjective): an experience so great it can't be topped... until the next big show.
As in: 'OMG, were you at Burberry? It was major.'
FROW (noun)*:* abbreviation of the front row.
As in: 'OMG, did you see Alexa on the FROW at Topshop Unique?'
Farfing (verb): fake laughing in order to look like you're having a great time in pictures without resorting to pulling the awkward expressions you make when you smile for real.
As in: 'Ohh, this is a great backdrop. Let's do a farfing shot.'
*A moment (adjective)*: **When someone comes out of nowhere to become an It-girl in their field.
As in: 'Lineisy Montero is having a serious moment. She was on every catwalk in New York.'
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