My 18-year-old daughter recently left the nest leaving behind her 3 younger brothers - oh, and me too! And her brothers cried and I’ve hysterically cried. We didn’t want her to go or worse… CHANGE! However, she didn’t go running off to university to continue doing what she’s been doing for the past 14 years… nope. She’s done something even more extreme and taken a gap year! Personally, I think she’s had enough of what could be called soul destroying studying for A-levels for a while. University can wait. So can studying. My view, she’s been studying since she was 4. Who wouldn’t want a life change after 14 years in full-time school? But it can be scary, daunting and frankly, out of the ‘comfort zone’. And I’m not just talking about going on a gap year…. I’m talking about ANY life changes. Anything that you feel needs a shake up. And well, here we are in full swing autumn when the trees are shedding the old and will soon to be turning over a new leaf… so how can we tell if it’s time to ‘Tree up’?!
Obviously, sometimes periods of transition in life are unavoidable. You may lose your job and have to adjust to a new career role, or have to move home for reasons beyond your control. When you are forced towards a life transition it can seem easier to deal with than a so-called voluntary transition because you have no choice but to move forwards.
But, it is the major life changes that we invite in and decide ourselves that can seem so challenging. This is because half of the effort is making the conscious decision to go ahead with this change in the first instance!
Being in a rut is a feeling that we can all relate to and it is often through no fault of our own that we find ourselves feeling this way. Do we allow ourselves to continue with this unhappiness, or do we fight to make a change and overcome routine and stagnation?
It isn’t always easy to recognise that the time for change has come but there are some tell-tale signs that you just might want to become a tree.
1) Monotony
This is perhaps the most obvious sign that the time has come to shake up your life.
Are you doing the same thing, day in - day out? Have you become so comfortable in your routine that spontaneity has fallen out of your vocabulary completely?
That’s not to say there is anything wrong with going to the same yoga class every Tuesday night and eating in the same restaurants each week. Perhaps you find familiarity comfortable - and that’s okay! But, as Neale Donald Walsch said, “Life begins outside of your comfort zone”!
When you start to seek out new experiences you are stepping outside of your comfort zone and inviting change into your life. You will meet new people, open yourself to new and exciting situations and the potential for self-discovery is limitless.
2) Boredom
This is another obvious sign that it is time to make a change. If the things you do and the people you spend time with no longer stimulate and challenge you, then it is time to branch out! This doesn’t mean you have to abandon those things and people completely, it simply means that you are craving more for yourself.
3) Nostalgia
If you find that you spend a lot of time romanticising the past, then the time has come to re-invent the present! We are more likely to look favourably upon the past when the present isn’t feeling so great, and that’s a looming sign that you need to make a change.
4) Dishonesty
If you have allowed yourself to become dishonest in any situation, then it is likely that you have become unhappy with your life. If you find yourself telling people that you are doing great when they ask how you are, even when you don’t feel like that’s the truth, then it is time to address the reasons for this need to cover up your true emotions. An unhappiness with yourself is likely to stem from an unhappiness with your life - a problem that can be solved by making the choice to make a big change.
5) Longing
Do you regularly find yourself dreaming of that hammock on the beach or the sports car with the excessive price tag? There’s nothing wrong with desiring luxury for yourself, but if this thought process is becoming a habit, then it is likely that you are using these thoughts to escape from your current situation.
When you realise that the time to make a change has come then it is completely down to you to put this into motion! But how you ask??? Well…I can’t give it all away in one article! So, stay tuned until next week for my ‘Steps to take if you’re finally ready for lasting change’ because this month’s theme is ALL about change...
For more ‘Small Moments of Self-care’ head to www.truly-julie.com
Julie Montagu’s well-being books are sold on www.amazon.co.uk
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