You know those guys who break up with a girl only to go out with someone who's just another version of their ex? Like, there's having a type and there's just treating women a bit like pairs of trainers you can't be bothered to do a little up-keep on. Well, Leonardo DiCaprio is one such bloke, and now Zayn Malik joins him after uploading a half-nudie Instagram post with a Perrie Edwards look-alike.
And the thing is, we can't even be cross at his new 'girlfriend', who The Sun insists is PR girl Carlyn Bryan, because for all the conscious decisions that led to the moment that photo was captured and uploaded, it's not exactly her fault that Zayn's gone for her.
Plus, despite making all of her social media accounts private after the upload, no amount of PR training could prepare you to be a woman who dares to date any of One Direction. A lot of what she's getting right now is death threats and hate messages in the guise of avid Zayn fans looking to protect him. And just on that thought, under a photo David Beckham put on Instagram of him and Malala Yousafzai, people posted messages like: 'she don't deserves to meet him :/ bitch' and 'yeah girl wtf wtf wtf she is a real bitch'.
Oh brave new world. Carlyn, if it really is you who gets to date Zayn, we wish you all the luck in the world.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.