Zara McDermott Only Speaking Out Now Shows How Complicated It Is For Women To Come Forward

The Love Island star has spoken about her 'distressing' experience on Strictly.

Zara McDermott and Graziano di Prima on Strictly Come Dancing in 2023

by Isobel Lewis |
Updated on

If there’s anyone who knows about a culture that downplays and dismisses women’s experiences, it’s Zara McDermott. Throughout her career, the policy advisor turned Love Island star and documentary maker, has had people say her opinion doesn’t matter; that her experience on a dating show, or being an influencer, meant her work shouldn’t be respected. Even as a teenager, she was the one suspended from school after being the victim of revenge porn.

So when it was announced that Graziano di Prima, the Italian dancer who partnered with Zara on last year’s series of Strictly Come Dancing, had been kicked off the show due to alleged physical and verbal abuse, you can understand why the reality star was reluctant to speak out. According to reports, Graziano, who joined the show in 2018, ‘repeatedly kicked and hit’ Zara during rehearsals. While Zara did not file the complaint against the dancer, she is said to have cooperated with the BBC’s investigation.

On Tuesday 16 July, nearly a year after her time on the show, Zara broke her silence on the matter. The fact it took her so long to feel up to doing so is notable in itself. In a lengthy written statement shared on her Instagram Story, the 27-year-old described appearing on Strictly as a ‘childhood dream come true’ that, in many ways, lived up to her expectations. ‘The entire production team and everyone behind the scenes as well as my fellow contestants were so amazing to work with,’ she said.

Zara McDermott and Graziano di Prima on Strictly Come Dancing in 2023
©BBC

However, Zara said that her experience in the training room had been ‘very different’, and that watching the footage back had been ‘incredibly distressing’. ‘I have wrestled with the fear of opening up,’ she wrote, adding, ‘I was scared about public backlash, I was scared about my future, I was scared of victim shaming… The culture within our society makes it difficult for people to speak up, especially in a world where social media opinions and voices are so loud.’

Zara’s fears speak to a culture we all know far too well; one where women are not believed when they talk about their experiences. It’s something she’s experienced first hand. In 2021, she presented a BBC Three documentary about being the subject of revenge porn, both when she was at school and once again when she appeared on Love Island. In both situations, Zara was the one publicly shamed for sending nude photos, rather than the people who sent them around, or even asked for them in the first place.

Graziano’s dismissal from the show came just weeks after it had been announced that he was appearing on the pro dancer line-up for the 2024 series, which marks 20 years since Strictly first aired. Following last year’s series, there’s been more focus on the pros’ behaviour than ever. Fellow Italian dancer Giovanni Pernice will also not be returning to the show this autumn, following allegations made against him by Amanda Abbington, who quit the 2023 series mid-run. Giovanni has rejected these claims, along with ‘any suggestion of abusive or threatening behaviour’.

When his dismissal from Strictly was announced, Graziano, who joined the show in 2018, released his own statement saying that he ‘deeply regretted the events that led to my departure from Strictly’. But reading the initial comments from fans who said they were ‘heartbroken’ by the news, you’d understand why Zara was scared to speak out. The comments were flooded with support for Graziano that put the blame squarely on the reality star.

Of the more critical comments, many were in the vein of that age old: if you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. The implication here is that Strictly is notoriously hard work, and that stars should know what they’re getting themselves in for on the show. At its core, that’s true. Strictly is a gruelling, lengthy (if you get far) process, with intense training hours.

Zara knew this, and referenced it in her own post. ‘I fully understood the level of commitment and hard work that Strictly was going to be and I dedicated everything to it. I am a resilient person and I was fully prepared to put in whatever it took.’

She knew these comments would come, because they came during her time on the show too. There was an assumption that, because she ended up in the bottom of the leaderboard, and repeatedly in the bottom two, she wasn’t trying. But some people are natural dancers, and some, no matter how hard they try, just aren’t. That’s a fact. But physical and verbal abuse, as Graziano is accused of, are not part of the deal. You can be passionate, and want to win, but nobody deserves to be allegedly hit and kicked.

The rush from Strictly fans – and, notably, some former stars – to defend Graziano is all the more frustrating when, crucially, he didn’t deny the allegations, but admitted that ‘my intense passion and determination to win might have affected my training regime.’

But for all the defences, a shift has occurred, with the top comments on Graziano’s post now all admonishing those who took aim at Zara. ‘I think the comments on this post have been incredibly unfair, one commenter wrote. 'If you read any of the reports about the situation you would know that there had been rumours at the time of a harsh working environment but Zara never made a complaint. The production team decided to look into what they heard and looked over training footage. What they had seen had been bad enough for them to file a report which led to an investigation and this is the result,’ they went on. Or, as another simply put it, ‘Dude admits wrongdoing. Victim gets the blame. Story as old as time.’

Zara McDermott and Graziano di Prima on Strictly Come Dancing in 2023
©BBC

And the BBC are listening, too. Following Zara’s comments, the BBC said that it would be announcing new steps to protect participants, including having a production team member present during all training room rehearsals, in a chaperone role. Additionally, the show would be appointing a celebrity welfare producer and a professional dancer welfare producer, while production crew and team would be given further training.

Kate Phillips, the BBC's director of unscripted, said: 'Whilst we know our shows have been positive experiences for the vast majority of those who have taken part, if issues are raised with us, or we’re made aware of inappropriate behaviour, we will always take that seriously and act.

'Concerns that have arisen have been fundamentally related to training and rehearsals.

'The decisive steps we have taken and are announced today, act to further strengthen the welfare and support in place for everyone involved with this production.'

As Zara McDermott herself said, Strictly is ‘one of the most magical shows on TV’; one she’d dreamt of appearing on ‘since I was a little girl’. In showing their dedication to listening to women and properly investigating, it’ll encourage more women in all walks of life to speak out, and hopefully prevent women in the public eye from having their dance fairytale turned into a nightmare.

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