I knew Taylor and Travis would get engaged! I called it on June 23rd last year, when I watched him join her on stage for a Wembley date of her Eras tour. He did it, in the spirit of… let’s call it: ‘expansive generosity’. He clearly absolutely adored the attention - but he also understood he was borrowing it, briefly, from the true star of that night – Taylor Swift. And Kelce was not merely OK with relinquishing that limelight, giving it back to his girl - he was proud to do it.
And that was when I knew.
But, look: Taylor Swift’s fiancé is not all Travis Kelce is. I mean yeah, sure, he’s an American footballer, too… But what I’m actually talking about here is, Kelce’s status as poster boy for the sexiest new male archetype in town. Move over, Connor of the chain! See ya, the Hot Priest, the Hot Rabbi; the rat boys of rat boy summer! For now is the age of the Woke Jock!
What is a Woke Jock? Why: a heavily bearded, hairy-chested fashion plate! The precise point where raging, roaring, old school masculinity meets active skincare, a delight in being out-earned (to the power of 20 in Kelce’s case) by your missus - and an unshowy, lowkey, distinct vulnerability. ‘I’m a guy who doesn’t want anyone to say anything negative about me. Some people don’t give a f***. I’m someone who does care,’ Kelce said, in a recent interview.
The Woke Jock is as unremittingly blokey as he’s gentle, as touchy-feely as he’s physically forceful (on the field – and off it, y’know, if required); a feminist (in a quiet, meaningful way, not a lame, performative one) and a gentleman.
Woke Jock loves: thick rugged jumpers, checked shirts, and the great outdoors - although he knows absolutely how to comport himself in a fancy restaurant (with particular reference to deploying exactly the right amount of sweetly flirtatious attention on both male and female wait staff, ensuring they’re always charmed. - never uncomfortable). Woke Jock loves his steak rare (though is having an increasingly hard time marrying his carnivorous lifestyle with his instinctive understanding all creatures deserve to live, none should be bred for the purpose of feeding him alone).
Woke Jock also loves baring his (hairy, developed) chest in public, although he can, in his most self-critical moments, wonder if this makes him a little bit Putin-y (it doesn’t). Woke Jock longs to be a father, but would never put pressure on his bird (her body, her career - always always her choice!). He is chivalrous in a way the more po-faced among us might decry as sexist if we didn’t also completely adore it, jealous (but only to the point where it’s flattering; equally good in karaoke, and an emergency.
Woke Jock writes his own wedding vows. He would never ask AI to do it for him.