Why Meghan Won’t Give In To Her ‘Difficult Dad’

Meghan Markle is continuing to take the moral high ground following comments her father Thomas Markle made to Piers Morgan in an interview

Meghan Markle

by Hannah Flint |
Updated on

After yet another embarrassing interview by her father, Meghan is remaining steadfastly silent and dignified. And the Palace is right behind her, reports Hannah Flint

The timing couldn’t have been worse. After weeks of reports claiming Meghan Markle had become a ‘difficult duchess’, responsible for everything from making Kate Middleton cry, to members of her team quitting, and Princes Harry and William drifting apart, her father Thomas Markle appeared on British TV in yet another damaging interview.

Speaking to Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain, the 74-year-old claimed he had been ‘ghosted’ by Meghan since she married Prince Harry, that his daily texts asking for contact had all gone ignored, and that the Queen should intervene to help settle their rift. ‘I would think she would want to resolve any family problems’, he said. ‘All families, royal or not, need to be together, especially in the holidays.’

Eyebrows were raised in particular about Thomas’s choice of interviewee: Piers Morgan had, just weeks earlier, branded the Duchess of Sussex a ‘ruthless social climbing actress... determined to milk it for all she can’.

Thomas Markle Piers Morgan

Indeed, as has been the case each time Thomas speaks out, the move appeared to backfire. Hundreds jumped to Meghan’s defence on social media, with some even claiming that Thomas’s decision to repeatedly speak out against his own daughter was ‘emotionally abusive’. But for her part, Meghan remained steadfastly silent; instead, heading to a Royal Variety care home on a solo visit the following day.

‘Meghan’s strategy has always been to ignore her father’s comments and not give in to his demands,’ said a royal source. ‘There have been talks about the palace in crisis, but the truth is they’re sticking to their guns and Meghan is determined not to change her approach. It is very doubtful that there will be a change of stance.’ A second source added, ‘There are no crisis talks. The plan is simple. Meghan will continue to ignore her father. But many observers feel that there is only one way to sort this mess, and that is for Meghan and Harry to meet privately with Thomas – and then get him to sign a legally binding non-disclosure agreement.’

‘It’s a very sad situation all round, and it’s hard to see how it can be resolved,’ former BBC royal correspondent Jennie Bond told Grazia following Thomas’s interview. ‘But the royal family have had to deal with delicate problems like this before. Diana frequently fell out with her mother and went through long periods of refusing to talk to her. She also blanked Fergie, and she and Charles both went on national TV confessing to adultery. In that context, Thomas’s interviews aren’t unprecedented.'

Meghan Markle and the Queen

She added, ‘I’m sure the Queen will be saddened to see yet another rift, but I don’t think the family will apply any pressure on Meghan. They will let her deal with it as she sees fit. She is just doing what she feels is right in this situation.’

But unfortunately, it seems there’s no telling when Thomas’s interviews may come to an end. ‘There’s a big part of Thomas that would love to say that this was his last ever interview, but really that’s down to Meghan,’ said a source. ‘If he’s still waiting on a call by early in the new year, then there’s every likelihood he’ll pipe up and give more quotes. He is a desperate, broken man who’ll do whatever he thinks it takes to get his daughter’s attention. What he doesn’t seem to realise is that his actions are only seeming to push her further away.'

‘Don’t judge me for severing contact with my father’

Like Meghan, Elizabeth Segal has cut all ties with her dad. Here she explains why it was essential to her well-being and happiness*

Thomas Markle has popped up again, this time on breakfast TV, to claim that his pregnant daughter has been ghosting his texts. ‘All families, royal or otherwise, should be together at the holidays,’ said Thomas. Like Meghan, I didn’t see my father over the holidays. People find this shocking. ‘You’ll make it up,’ say well-meaning friends. ‘All families have tiffs.’ Well, no, not like this.

Severing that connection wasn’t something I did lightly. It was a last resort, essential to my well-being and happiness. If you’re judging me, as you may have judged Meghan for cutting off her father, then lucky you. Clearly you’ve enjoyed a conventional, happy childhood. You have no idea of the dark forces that can cause a family to fracture.

In the days when I did still go home for the holidays, when I tried to maintain some sort of relationship with my father, I’d feel my mood start to drop as soon as I drove out of London. By the time I reached the town where I grew up, I’d be overwhelmed by sadness, resentment – and anger.

It was here that my father told me and my sister not to cry in front of him after our mum died when I was in my twenties. A year later, he told me to get out of the family home because I’d objected to him bringing back a woman we’d never met to stay the night in what had been Mum’s bed.

Years earlier, when I was teenager, I’d come home from a night out to find a police car outside the house after he’d hit Mum. But the odd drunken punch wasn’t the worst of it. Domestic abuse, I know now, can take many forms. He was manipulative, dishonest, controlling – even controlling the money that Mum had to spend. He’d plead poverty, then turn up driving an expensive new car.

‘But he’s so charming, your dad,’ people would say. Yes, narcissists often are. Their behaviour can tip over into the criminal, too. I’ve since discovered that he took out a second mortgage on his elderly mum’s house. He’s the reason I’m in therapy. Although I haven’t seen him for nearly half a decade, those emotions forged in childhood have a long half-life.

Many of us will have seen friends in a toxic relationship. We know they need to end it. It’s chaotic, dysfunctional. They’re unhappy – they’re not themselves when they’re with him. But what if that man happens to be your father?

Cutting my father off for good – after several periods without contact – has given me a peace, of sorts, that I’d never have attained were we still in touch. It was a positive step and a brave one, prompted by the birth of my daughter four years ago.

In his most recent interview Thomas Markle said, ‘There has to be a place for me,’ in the baby’s life. But providing 25% of a child’s DNA doesn’t give you an automatic role in its life. In fact, for me, motherhood was the wake-up call to cut off the dysfunction at source so that it couldn’t harm the next generation.

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