Watching Love Actually’s Sex Scenes With Your Parents And A Lesson In Hating Everything Christmas From Neon Jungle

The girls bring some festive cheer through the medium of telling all the kids at school that Santa wasn't real


by Jess Commons |
Published on

This week, our favourite girlband, Amira, Jess, Shereen and Asami, also known as the adorabubble Neon Jungle, released their fifth single Can’t Stop The Love. But, rather more importantly, what are the girls up to for Christmas? We found out...

The Debrief: What are you lot doing for Christmas then?

Amira: Oh my gosh I hate Christmas. It’s a waste of stress and so not worth it for one day.

Jess: I LOVE Christmas. Just you talking about it makes me happy.

Amira: Nope, I don’t like the tinsel, the smell of it, I don’t like Christmas trees…

Jess: But, but, but… Pine! Cinammon!

Amira: Nah. This year I’m going somewhere hot for Christmas.

DB: Bah humbug. What do you actually wear on Christmas Day?

Jess: Hmm, it needs to be comfy and cosy.

****DB: So not your finest finery?

Jess: Hell no!

Asami: Yeah, last year I just had my singing Christmas jumper on walking round the house.

Shereen: This year I’m going to wear my blue fluffy Cookie Monster onesie.

Jess: See, you plan it because you’re like, ‘I’m going to Instagram this!’

Amira: I’m going to be wearing my bikini. HAHAHAHA.

****DB: Alright, enough of that. I got a toaster last Christmas, what’s the worst present you’ve ever got?

Jess: I’d love a toaster.

Asami: Yeah that sounds like a good one.

Amira: Things like that are expensive man.

Shereen: Wait, really, a toaster?!

****DB: OK, a toaster for the lot of you, then. What is a rubbish present idea then?

Jess: Vouchers are a bit annoying. They’re jusy lazy. You’re like, ‘JUST GIVE ME THE MONEY.’

Amira: Bath stuff, shower gel. It’s like, ‘Do I smell?’

Jess: My mum always puts an orange at the bottom of my stocking.

****DB: MINE TOO, what’s the deal?

Jess: Yeah, you get it out and you’re like… ‘Really?’

****DB: I think mine’s still under my bed from last year.

Jess: Gross!

****DB: When did you guys find out Santa’s wasn’t real?

Asami: A few years ago…

****DB: Was it actually last week?

Asami: Wait, Santa’s not real?

****DB: No, sorry….

Asami: Ha ha. So I hadn’t even got halfway up the stairs when my mum went, ‘You drink the milk and eat the cookies and I’ll eat the carrot,’ to my sister and I was like, ‘What? Why would you do that?’ I was crying really bad.

Amira: I think I’m a devil child because from a really early moment I didn’t believe in the Tooth Fairy...

Asami: The Tooth Fairy’s real.

Amira: Erm, no. It’s really not. I got in trouble at school for telling kids that Santa was fake. They called my mum and said I had an outburst and all the kids were crying.

****DB: That's pretty mean. What’s you favourite Christmas movie?

Asami: The Grinch! One hundred per cent, hands down The Grinch. I watch it all year round.

Jess: Home Alone!

Amira: I like This Christmas with Chris Brown in it. It’s the only Christmas movie I ever actually will purposefully watch. It’s because Chris Brown’s in it.

Asami: And Love Actually!

****DB: Oh wait, but what about the awkward naked bits in Love Actually? Watching that with your parents is the worst.

Jess: Oh my gosh, the worst thing ever. And if you do something obvious like, ‘I’m just going to go to the toilet…’ Then they know you find it awkward, too. You’ve got to just sit there and keep watching.

Amira: Yeah, you’ve got to act like it’s not there so you don’t speak, you don’t leave… You just have to see it through.

****DB: Cringe, cringe, cringe!

Jess: I was watching Game Of Thrones and there’s like incest and sex and everything, and I was watching it with my mum and me and my mum are cool and we talk about things, but there was this scene where Little Finger was literally narrating these girls having sex and coaching them and the scene lasted for like TEN MINUTES. I was just like, ‘WHEN WILL IT END?!’ The first time my mum comes down to visit and we ended up watching porn.

****DB: That is horrifying. So how about Christmas parties – any tips on how to behave?

Shereen: Erm, don’t?

****DB: Are you having a Neon Jungle Christmas party?

Jess: No.

****DB: You should!

Asami: I know right?

Amira: I can’t! I’ll be on the beeeeeeeech.

****DB: You could take the girls with you?

Amira: Hell no!

****DB: **Ah, Merry Christmas, ladies!

**All: Merry Christmas!

Neon Jungle's newest single Can’t Stop The Love is out now.

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Follow Jess on Twitter @Jess_Commons

This article originally appeared on The Debrief.

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