TOWIE has been troubling me for a long time. I’ve been watching since day one, and although it has so many fun, funny, life affirming moments (Gemma’s angel reading parties! Joey Essex driving a milk float into an estuary! Charlie surprising Ferne with a flashmob of dancing men in bear costumes! Arg’s driving lessons!) I find it increasingly hard to watch as a feminist who believes in equality.
I don’t mind when the men cheat on their girlfriends – admittedly it’s not fun for them, but it’s entertainment for us! However, I do get distressed by the way that women are held to account for enjoying the same sexual freedoms as the men in the show, the way that women’s thoughts, ideas and arguments are often dismissed and the way that men speak to women. Former cast member Dan Osborne threatened to hospitalise his former partner. Chloe Lewis has spent most of the current series crying because boyfriend Jake Hall is so aggressive and possessive that he shouted at her for following a man on Twitter. (Jake has a fairly extensive history of kissing other women and lying about it.) And Danni seems visibly frightened of her ex, Lockie. (‘I hear your key in the door and I hate that I just don’t know what mood you’re going to be in when you come home,’ she told him recently. It breaks your heart.)
Gemma Collins has dismissed all this with an airy ‘that’s Essex boys for you…in Essex, it’s a normal thing’. It’s not. It shouldn’t be ‘normal’ anywhere – but when you’re surrounded by abusive relationship models, it’s going to warp you. If your Dad was rude to your Mum, and her Grandad was always angry and irrational with her Granny, and you’ve watched a lot of Eastenders, you’ll think that endless fear, stress and anxiety is part of all relationships.
With all this in mind, the women of TOWIE are doing something miraculous. In last night’s episode, Ferne, Jess, Lydia and Chloe came together to set up #FemEssex – a weekly group (with a hashtag!) devoted to discussing feminist issues. They attempted to be ‘make up free and hairy’ but then decided that they felt more comfortable with their slap on, and didn’t want to go ‘100 per cent feminist’. Unfortunately the meeting was cut short when Georgia told Ferne to ‘fuck off’ because of her ‘vile’ morals. But I think the women of TOWIE are one hundred per cent feminist, no matter what they put on their faces, or what they scream at each other.
Firstly, we all know that you can be a feminist if you wear no make up, subtle day make up, or three pairs of false lashes and sparkly blue eyeshadow all the way up to your hairline. But Chloe and co were doing make up mindfully. They tried an alternative and then chose to present themselves to the world in a way that made them feel happy and comfortable. Not wearing make up to impress a lot of imaginary gender studies students is no more feminist than wearing an inch of it to impress the patriarchy.
Secondly, being part of the sisterhood is hard. You’re never going to agree with all your sisters, and sometimes you will want to scream at them. But I think there’s something boldly feminist in Georgia telling Ferne what she thinks to her face. We’re socialised to avoid screaming, confrontation and swearing, and Georgia managed a convention defying triple whammy. Compare this with the way the boys keep making weird, sneaky digs about newbie Peter Wicks, which have just left him feeling very confused about what he is supposed to have done wrong.
The girls of Essex go above and beyond what’s expected of them, for each other. When Danni was having relationship drama, Chloe told her what she deserved – and she told Lockie to raise his game. The boys tell their mates to ditch their girlfriends at the first sign of trouble, and they’re usually the first to spread rumours about each other too. When Lockie cheated in Vegas, I don’t think there was a boy in his friendship group who didn’t post the news on social media. Obviously the girls are guilty of gossip too – but they seem to display a lot more integrity, character conflict and general levels of interest and engagement. And without exception, they are all super successful businesswomen. The boys can’t run a sandwich shop for half a series without freaking out over hairnets and butter knives.
If the women of TOWIE can own companies, property, adorable puppies and eyelash extension loyalty cards all at the same time, if they can be funny, clever, contradictory and kind, if they can life in an area of the UK where boys are ‘like that’ and still hold their own, they are, in my opinion, 100 per cent feminist. Chloe, I’ve signed you and your mates up for life.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.