If there’s one thing I've learned recently it’s this: don’t invite Taylor Swift to your wedding. It is plain for all to see that Swift is possibly one of the worst wedding attendees you can have. And this saddens me.
Take her best friend’s wedding, for example, where she was maid of honour. I’m sure she did her duty: organised a top bachelorette party and got her so pissed she woke up in Denmark wearing nothing but a garter and a sash (sounds like something she'd do, right?). But then she went and ruined it all didn’t she? By doing a bloody Vogue interview whilst she's there. Like, pick your moments Swift. And know that your best friends wedding is not that moment.
Then there was the time she ruined a vloggers wedding indirectly, because they used part of her song on their wedding video.
And what’s she gone and done now? Well she attended the wedding of her backing singer, Eliotte Nicole on Saturday. But it wasn’t quite as simple as that because Swift was already partying in Coachella. 1200 miles away.
According to US Weekly, she jetted in to attend the wedding, before returning to Coachella for the headline acts that evening (either Guns N' Roses or Grimes).
Which sounds really lovely and everything, until you consider the furor that a private jet landing at your wedding would cause. You’re there in your wedding dress, looking all great and bridal, then a private jet lands and Taylor Swift gets out. Like, Taylor, get your own thunder. As her backing singer, Eliotte already literally stands behind her, so just give her this one moment, mate.
We thought this was bad enough until we saw some pictures from the wedding and oh my god she wore a white dress.
That’s it, she’s not invited to mine.
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This article originally appeared on The Debrief.