So you've discovered that Stanley Tucci is attractive? Come, join me at the Stanley Tucci Appreciation Club House. I have been waiting for you.
Today, the Oscar-nominated actor turns sixty, thereby becoming the world's hottest sexagenarian. Sprightly and wise, he has the sparkly eyes of a man half his age. And we know he can mix a damn good drink: earlier this year, Tucci Fever went global when a video of him making a cocktail for his wife appealed to the masses.
Some pointed out that the real draw of the clip was seeing a man who was still dressing normally in lockdown, rather than choosing jogging bottoms and the T-shirt he wore to paint the bathroom. But most were simply drawn in by the magnetism that many had been aware of for years.
It starts with the screen. In film, Stanley plays kind like no one else. In The Devil Wears Prada he is the wildly witty, yet vulnerable Nigel. He delivers roles with similar energy in films like Julie and Julia, Cabaret and Easy A. He is Hollywood's favourite kind uncle. It makes performances against type - like a serial killer in The Lovely Bones - all the more stark and surprising.
It continues off-screen. Stanley dresses elegantly. He speaks eloquently. There is a sparkle in his eye, behind a trademark pair of very good spectacles. Women who would generally not include bald men on their list of typical dating types suddenly change their mind when presented with his example. Rewind a few decades to one of his earliest appearances - in an advert for Levi jeans - and his magnetism is evident. He is a kind and affectionate husband - to Felicity Blunt, sister of actress Emily - a loving father, and an excellent cook, having authored two cookery books.
This is where I confess that I have met Stanley Tucci on several occasions, so while it would be remiss of me to pretend that we are friends (sorry dear Stanley, I'm just so busy) I can confirm that he is truly as dreamy and gentlemanly as he seems. At the opening of a book shop, he spoke to me with dry humour and laughed at my jokes. At a supper club in West London, he was an engaging dinner companion, interesting and, crucially, interested in absolutely everyone. He refilled glasses before anyone asked, refused to take the last of the potatoes, and was the first to raise from his seat to toast the hostesses. At a launch dinner held by a whisky brand last year (he loves whisky) he read a poem before dessert. A hush descended. Every guest - there were at least fifty - was in the palm of his well-moisturised (I know, I have shaken it) hand.
In short, I am pleased that the world has woken up to the truth. Stanley Tucci is an undeniable dreamboat. I'm just surprised it took so long.
Soon, we will see him play opposite Colin Firth in Supernova. They play lovers. I fear the internet may explode.
So raise a glass on today, Stanley Tucci's sixtieth. We already know what to drink, at least.
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